[ stop he was a rowdy little youngin'... also a good-looking youngin', apparently, who just flirted with visitors all day.
when hijikata continues, tsurumaru goes quiet to listen as attentively as he can, taking his time in wrapping the bandages around hijikata's hand. kashuu once told him about the lives of those who lived during the bakamatsu period — that they accomplished great things in bursts with their short lives, like fireworks lighting the night sky.
so he looks pensive for a moment, selecting his words carefully; because unlike humans with their short lifespans, he has all the time in the world to climb mountains and do everything that they can't. not that it's something to gloat about, of course — the top of the mountain is in fact a lonely place, after all. ]
That's a very human thing to say — to keep climbing, even though you don't know what's waiting for you at the top of the mountain. If you knew nothing was waiting for you there, would you still keep going?
[ since, well... he can't exactly tell hijikata that he died at hakodate before he was able to climb that entire metaphorical mountain, right?
but after some final wrapping motions, he's finished tying the bandages around his cut! he leans back, looking just a bit triumphant of his handiwork. ]
Well, I wouldn't have much to do if I decided to stop climbing would I? Even if at that top it's absolutely nothing, or a big accomplishment or even death... I would still try to reach it.
[ of course, as a samurai he has to be prepared for death at any given moment, right? ]
Though, sometimes I wish I could go back home and show my brother look what I've done, but... I can't control everything, huh...
[ well, it's a shame Kiroku had to go before Hijikata managed to accomplish a good amount of things. but that's life, basically.
he can't even show his parents! although, he wasn't too close to them to begin with, even the memories of their faces are just fuzzy or not there at all. ]
I wonder he would be proud of me, that's what I think about sometimes. Because he always talked about how much of a trouble I was so that's why I left in the first place. He was always mad about how often I got fired too.
[ he inspects his hand and wiggles his fingers to make sure it isn't too tight. it's perfect though! ugh, damn that glass though! ] It's good, thank you.
[ what's death? can you eat it? where can it be found?? but while he sort of understands what it's like to have guardians, he doesn't know what it's like to have a family, in the sense that the awataguchis do, the samonjis do, and even the vague relations that tie the sanjous together. so he pauses for a moment, mulling over his words carefully, but ultimately, it wouldn't do any good to be anything less than honest — even if that means admitting he just doesn't know at all. ]
I don't know how much my opinion means, coming from a sword that doesn't understand what having siblings is like — but I think he'd be proud of you.
[ humans are like that, right? they're proud when their relatives achieve high-ranking positions with lots of people at their command.
but there's the gratitude he's been looking for!! a very nice, well-deserved word of thanks. but that's not all of it, right? hijikata will certainly praise him even more, right! so he waits... waits a little more... and then he's going to wilt a little after being let down, looking at hijikata expectantly, as if to say "that's it?". ]
And?
[ his tone is curious, instead of demanding, trying to gently prompt him; tsurumaru will live if he doesn't get the pats that he wants, but he's going to be childish about asking for them in such a roundabout way. ]
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hijiwanwan) wrote2015-09-14 12:06 am
YOU LISTEN i... forgot what we were talking about
when hijikata continues, tsurumaru goes quiet to listen as attentively as he can, taking his time in wrapping the bandages around hijikata's hand. kashuu once told him about the lives of those who lived during the bakamatsu period — that they accomplished great things in bursts with their short lives, like fireworks lighting the night sky.
so he looks pensive for a moment, selecting his words carefully; because unlike humans with their short lifespans, he has all the time in the world to climb mountains and do everything that they can't. not that it's something to gloat about, of course — the top of the mountain is in fact a lonely place, after all. ]
That's a very human thing to say — to keep climbing, even though you don't know what's waiting for you at the top of the mountain. If you knew nothing was waiting for you there, would you still keep going?
[ since, well... he can't exactly tell hijikata that he died at hakodate before he was able to climb that entire metaphorical mountain, right?
but after some final wrapping motions, he's finished tying the bandages around his cut! he leans back, looking just a bit triumphant of his handiwork. ]
There. Tell me if it's too tight, okay?
me too [komyu voice] how are you
[ of course, as a samurai he has to be prepared for death at any given moment, right? ]
Though, sometimes I wish I could go back home and show my brother look what I've done, but... I can't control everything, huh...
[ well, it's a shame Kiroku had to go before Hijikata managed to accomplish a good amount of things. but that's life, basically.
he can't even show his parents! although, he wasn't too close to them to begin with, even the memories of their faces are just fuzzy or not there at all. ]
I wonder he would be proud of me, that's what I think about sometimes. Because he always talked about how much of a trouble I was so that's why I left in the first place. He was always mad about how often I got fired too.
[ he inspects his hand and wiggles his fingers to make sure it isn't too tight. it's perfect though! ugh, damn that glass though! ] It's good, thank you.
UGH I'M SLEEPY but how about /you/
I don't know how much my opinion means, coming from a sword that doesn't understand what having siblings is like — but I think he'd be proud of you.
[ humans are like that, right? they're proud when their relatives achieve high-ranking positions with lots of people at their command.
but there's the gratitude he's been looking for!! a very nice, well-deserved word of thanks. but that's not all of it, right? hijikata will certainly praise him even more, right! so he waits... waits a little more... and then he's going to wilt a little after being let down, looking at hijikata expectantly, as if to say "that's it?". ]
And?
[ his tone is curious, instead of demanding, trying to gently prompt him; tsurumaru will live if he doesn't get the pats that he wants, but he's going to be childish about asking for them in such a roundabout way. ]