[ don't have too much pity or Hijikata will get grumpy and hightail right out of here! ]
I mean, I've been fine until now.
[ until some of his clothes got ruined... he's totally been running out of things to wear so that's definitely a reason why he hasn't really disagreed to a change in wardrobe. ]
[He can't hightail it out now that he's set foot into Kashuu's domain, okay. It's like a grass pokemon trying to take down a charizard in the middle of a volcano.]
You probably only think you've been fine 'cause that's the kind of stubborn guy you are. But we're fixing all of that now! First, we'll start with tops since they're easier to get on. [Already implying he doesn't think Hijikata will be able to put on his own pants...]
Let's go, let's go!
[AND AWAY... Kashuu nyooms through racks with expert precision, picking out fashionably baggy cardigans, cleanly cut vests and button-up shirts, those ridiculous poncho things that are in vogue, nicely tailored jackets... SO MANY THINGS. All in a variety of colors too, though he'll be mindful of Hijikata's preferences.]
[Hijikata may think that now but will he still think it when Kashuu shoves him into skintight pants and suggests he tries on some heels?? That's where the true test comes in...
Either way, he totally ignores that first claim like the rudeass he is and just sort of merrily continues onward, picking out SO MANY THINGS until he has a towering pile of stuff.]
Eh, d'you think so? This is about how much I get in the first round.
[Staring at Hijikata like duh. He went shopping with a shopaholic and turned over the keys to him, okay. That's what he got himself into. Literal hell.]
Here, here - Take these!
[Just SHOVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF OVER. It's basically all this kind of stuff honestly. Please at least be able to mix and match well, Hijikata...]
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
[ UGH... WHAT DID HIJIKATA GET HIMSELF INTO HE BETTER GET FREE SHIT FOR THIS.
but first he just... looks around because Kashuu just shoved clothes into his hands and that's it? but he's not that dumb because he does see the dressing room sign!
soo he'll just go over there then lock a door behind him because well, he really wasn't prepared to get dressed right in the middle of the shop. OKAY LET'S SEE - TIME TO SIFT THROUGH THESE CLOTHES. ]
. . . . Well, hopefully this won't be that bad...
[ no, this will be because he's totally putting on this shirt and these pants!
and. . . it's time for the reveal, so he leaves the dressing room! HOW DID HE DO KASHUU? ]
[HE'S GETTING FREE SHIT OKAY he's getting free clothing, duh!! Kashuu wouldn't take a grandpa in need out on a shopping spree without being able to cover for it, he knows Hijikata's got to save his money for his life alert bills.
But oh man... WELL. There he goes, that Hijikata, about to get dressed in modern outfits on his own for the first time.
It's a mess.]
...Wow. We're really gonna have to start from square one, huh?
[Individually, these pieces aren't even that bad! Outlandish, but still stylish in that off the cuff way! Together, no.]
I figured you'd be able to put something together, that's why!
[BUT NO, Hijikata proved him wrong and now his "I can dress myself" privileges are being revoked until he knows how Western clothing work.]
Okay, gimme a second--
[Into the dressing room he goes, so he can rifle through the pile himself!! He'll pick out the red blazer, a collared shirt, and pants, handing them over.]
[ LOOK, HIJIKATA TRIED... and that's what matters. can he at least get an A for effort. please Kashuu... ]
Fine, fine.
[ he'll nab the clothes out of Kashuu's grubby little okitagumi paws, and shoo him out of the dressing room. SHOO SHOO. then he closes the door again. . .
well getting the tops on were pretty easy. he got the idea of buttons down pretty fast!
but these pants... what. . . what the hell is this. THE PANTS HE HAD ON EARLIER WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER TO WEAR!? ]
[He can get an A for effort because it's just sad otherwise...
But out he goes once he's shooed! Even though he sticks near the door just in case Hijikata needs some help and oh boy, look at that, Hijikata needs some help.]
Yeah, they are. They're form-fitting! That's the style.
[ suffering for fashion... what kind of weird brand of masochism is this...
one Hijikata would actually do? sometimes you gotta suffer to Look Good? yes. ]
Well... That's different, but...
[ it's not like he was having trouble putting them on! he doesn't need help! he was just making sure they're suppose to be that form-fitting? but okay time to just... get these on.
there we go! Kashuu's excellent taste in fashion is finally showing through because this actually doesn't look that bad? Hijikata's impressed! ]
Okay, here. [ opening the door! aaa look at that, the reveal... incredible. ]
But look, see! It's totally worth the discomfort of occasional chafing and tucking! He's done a good job and Hijikata has too just by virtue of being able to pull this insanity off. Kashuu claps his hands together, clearly delighted! Unlike the last time where he just wanted to go take a nap for a long, long time.]
Way better! Watcha thing? See what I'm talking about? That looks really good on you.
[HE'S DOING THE FULL 360 WALKAROUND gotta see Hijikata from every angle. Please appreciate his hard work, Tsurumaru.]
Well, it's going to take a bit to get use to. I thought tight clothes would restrict movement, but I guess that's not the case.
[ which is why he was a bit unsure about it at first... but he really can move just fine in these clothes. now, if he can fight in them then he'll definitely be okay with this (if Kashuu can fight in heels then Hijikata can do anything).
aaaaaaaa Kashuu why ya gotta... he's waving a hand at Kashuu to shoo him away AGAIN? ]
Whatever. So, what are the general rules of... Matching, then.
[ he doesn't want to make the same mistake again!! ]
Duh! Why would I wear something restrictive into battle?
[Okay but looking at some of the outfits these swords wear, that question shouldn't even be asked.
WHY MUST HE BE SHOOED.]
Mmm, let's see. [Counting things off on his fingers as he mercifully steps away...] Don't go overboard on colors! Try to stick to one main one and then one or two more for accents. Everything goes with black, but solid black is no good. Grey is a nice neutral, but too much is super drab. If you wear something baggy on the top, you should wear something skinny on the bottom! And if you wear something baggy on the bottom you're probably doing something wrong. Also, you gotta have at least one suit - but like, a casual one!
[ THAT'S ... A LOT OF RULES, damn. but okay, Hijikata is taking down those mental notes! he WILL remember them too. he wants to look good? he wants to look Really good. ]
[He's here to help Hijikata look Really good, so IT WORKS OUT. Also wow he just did a skim of the True Rules okay, he'll be sending Hijikata a like 5 part text later with the rest of them.]
Like this!
[Brushing past Hijikata to go digging around in The Pile again. He pulls out a pretty casual-looking but well tailored suit in black to match Hijikata's soul.]
With suits, you wear white shirts or colored collared shirts under 'em! But you can just wear nice non-collared ones too, as long as the color and quality is good.
[I'M NOT SAYING IT MIGHT HAPPEN but it might happen.
For now, he's just turning back around to give Hijikata a look that only speaks for unfortunate things in his future.]
Bingo! You're right about that. Suits are usually worn with dress shoes, but anything else it totally up to you. Shoes are practically the most versatile thing in anyone's wardrobe!
[And he's about to try putting Hijikata into heels.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
hijiwanwan) wrote2015-09-14 12:06 am
PLEASE STAB RESPONSIBLY?
I mean, I've been fine until now.
[ until some of his clothes got ruined... he's totally been running out of things to wear so that's definitely a reason why he hasn't really disagreed to a change in wardrobe. ]
I... [ . . . it can't be that bad, right? ]
Okay, fine. What are we starting with first.
says the candlewax commander
You probably only think you've been fine 'cause that's the kind of stubborn guy you are. But we're fixing all of that now! First, we'll start with tops since they're easier to get on. [Already implying he doesn't think Hijikata will be able to put on his own pants...]
Let's go, let's go!
[AND AWAY... Kashuu nyooms through racks with expert precision, picking out fashionably baggy cardigans, cleanly cut vests and button-up shirts, those ridiculous poncho things that are in vogue, nicely tailored jackets... SO MANY THINGS. All in a variety of colors too, though he'll be mindful of Hijikata's preferences.]
HIJIKATA CANDLEWAXES RESPONSIBLY?
[ REALLY... HE REALLY WAS! o..kay no.
but why does Kashuu think Hijikata can't put on western clothes? Hijikata can do anything he wants if he believes. BUT... he'll follow him?!
but gosh, he's picking out a lot of things -- so fast too. you can definitely tell he's use to this. ]
Ah... That's a lot of stuff. [ internal screaming, probably. ]
i........ r u sure..
Either way, he totally ignores that first claim like the rudeass he is and just sort of merrily continues onward, picking out SO MANY THINGS until he has a towering pile of stuff.]
Eh, d'you think so? This is about how much I get in the first round.
[He has rounds...]
Anyway! Ready to try some on?
YES??? do you doubt me.. hand over heart :(
Implying... There's more to come?
[ what did he get himself into... ]
Well, I don't have a choice do I... So, let's get this over with. [ BEFORE ROUND 2, APPARENTLY. ]
OF COURSE
[Staring at Hijikata like duh. He went shopping with a shopaholic and turned over the keys to him, okay. That's what he got himself into. Literal hell.]
Here, here - Take these!
[Just SHOVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF OVER. It's basically all this kind of stuff honestly. Please at least be able to mix and match well, Hijikata...]
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
but first he just... looks around because Kashuu just shoved clothes into his hands and that's it? but he's not that dumb because he does see the dressing room sign!
soo he'll just go over there then lock a door behind him because well, he really wasn't prepared to get dressed right in the middle of the shop. OKAY LET'S SEE - TIME TO SIFT THROUGH THESE CLOTHES. ]
. . . . Well, hopefully this won't be that bad...
[ no, this will be because he's totally putting on this shirt and these pants!
and. . . it's time for the reveal, so he leaves the dressing room! HOW DID HE DO KASHUU? ]
why did sho do this to us
But oh man... WELL. There he goes, that Hijikata, about to get dressed in modern outfits on his own for the first time.
It's a mess.]
...Wow. We're really gonna have to start from square one, huh?
[Individually, these pieces aren't even that bad! Outlandish, but still stylish in that off the cuff way! Together, no.]
AAAAAAA I LAUGHED SO HARD KASHUU UR TIRED
Well... You just gave them to me without saying anything else..!
[ ugh... ugh...
he crosses his arms. ]
You pick something if you know all about this stuff then.
HE NEEDS A LONGASS NAP
[BUT NO, Hijikata proved him wrong and now his "I can dress myself" privileges are being revoked until he knows how Western clothing work.]
Okay, gimme a second--
[Into the dressing room he goes, so he can rifle through the pile himself!! He'll pick out the red blazer, a collared shirt, and pants, handing them over.]
Try these.
AAA IM THE ONE THAT DESERVES A NAP
Fine, fine.
[ he'll nab the clothes out of Kashuu's grubby little okitagumi paws, and shoo him out of the dressing room. SHOO SHOO. then he closes the door again. . .
well getting the tops on were pretty easy. he got the idea of buttons down pretty fast!
but these pants... what. . . what the hell is this. THE PANTS HE HAD ON EARLIER WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER TO WEAR!? ]
Are these suppose to be. . . . This tight?
[ pants ?? ? ?? ? ? ]
GO TAKE A NAP THEN U ELDERLY PERSON
But out he goes once he's shooed! Even though he sticks near the door just in case Hijikata needs some help and oh boy, look at that, Hijikata needs some help.]
Yeah, they are. They're form-fitting! That's the style.
[Doesn't Hijikata want to be fashionable??]
I'mma make sure kashuu takes an eternal nap
one Hijikata would actually do? sometimes you gotta suffer to Look Good? yes. ]
Well... That's different, but...
[ it's not like he was having trouble putting them on! he doesn't need help! he was just making sure they're suppose to be that form-fitting? but okay time to just... get these on.
there we go! Kashuu's excellent taste in fashion is finally showing through because this actually doesn't look that bad? Hijikata's impressed! ]
Okay, here. [ opening the door! aaa look at that, the reveal... incredible. ]
Better?
wtf HE'S TRYING TO HELP
But look, see! It's totally worth the discomfort of occasional chafing and tucking! He's done a good job and Hijikata has too just by virtue of being able to pull this insanity off. Kashuu claps his hands together, clearly delighted! Unlike the last time where he just wanted to go take a nap for a long, long time.]
Way better! Watcha thing? See what I'm talking about? That looks really good on you.
[HE'S DOING THE FULL 360 WALKAROUND gotta see Hijikata from every angle. Please appreciate his hard work, Tsurumaru.]
STOP!!!! OKITAGUMIS ARE LIL DEMONS AND GOTTA GO
Well, it's going to take a bit to get use to. I thought tight clothes would restrict movement, but I guess that's not the case.
[ which is why he was a bit unsure about it at first... but he really can move just fine in these clothes. now, if he can fight in them then he'll definitely be okay with this (if Kashuu can fight in heels then Hijikata can do anything).
aaaaaaaa Kashuu why ya gotta... he's waving a hand at Kashuu to shoo him away AGAIN? ]
Whatever. So, what are the general rules of... Matching, then.
[ he doesn't want to make the same mistake again!! ]
STOP WHY DONT BE MEAN TO THE PURE BEANS
[Okay but looking at some of the outfits these swords wear, that question shouldn't even be asked.
WHY MUST HE BE SHOOED.]
Mmm, let's see. [Counting things off on his fingers as he mercifully steps away...] Don't go overboard on colors! Try to stick to one main one and then one or two more for accents. Everything goes with black, but solid black is no good. Grey is a nice neutral, but too much is super drab. If you wear something baggy on the top, you should wear something skinny on the bottom! And if you wear something baggy on the bottom you're probably doing something wrong. Also, you gotta have at least one suit - but like, a casual one!
dam u ... makin those funny jokes again i see!!
Ah... I see.
[ THAT'S ... A LOT OF RULES, damn. but okay, Hijikata is taking down those mental notes! he WILL remember them too. he wants to look good? he wants to look Really good. ]
Then... What would a suit look like?
UGH LOOK U slamdunks into the trash
Like this!
[Brushing past Hijikata to go digging around in The Pile again. He pulls out a pretty casual-looking but well tailored suit in black to match Hijikata's soul.]
With suits, you wear white shirts or colored collared shirts under 'em! But you can just wear nice non-collared ones too, as long as the color and quality is good.
slam dunks u back to ikedaya
well, he'll read them later when they come then? ]
Oh... I see, that doesn't look too bad either.
[ because it is black. like Hijikata's soul.
OH YEAH... there's one more problem he needs to address. ] And... I don't wear these with sandals, I'm guessing...
[ does this mean he also needs (Gasp) socks!? ]
this is why u get hakodated
For now, he's just turning back around to give Hijikata a look that only speaks for unfortunate things in his future.]
Bingo! You're right about that. Suits are usually worn with dress shoes, but anything else it totally up to you. Shoes are practically the most versatile thing in anyone's wardrobe!
[And he's about to try putting Hijikata into heels.]
YA GONNA GET IKEDAYA'D
well, if you're going to adapt to a new style of clothing then you gotta go the 100%, you know? ]
Okay then...
[ UGH THE HEELS... Hijikata doesn't know what's coming! he'll... just trust Kashuu again (Bad idea). ]
If we're going to get these clothes, then we need some shoes. [ that's the hint to go get some, Kashuu. ]
WHY IS HIJIKATA EXHAUSTING
But look, okay, even if Kashuu picks uncomfortable shoes, at least they're ones that still look nice... SO OFF HE GOES at the prompting.]
Don't take that outfit off just yet! Lemme find some shoes for it.
[AND AWAAAY.
He'll come back with a whole stack of boxes, but at least the one on top is just a normal pair of dress shoes in black.]
Try 'em!