hijiwanwan | [Cerealia] Inbox

[ he's really tempted to say yes... but hijikata might actually kill him for that? so he tilts his head to the side a little, as if he'd said something pleasant, instead. ]

I could lie and say no, but you're always welcome to.

[ ugh... he'll be weirded out either way. that, and it's not as if he can actually kill him right now with his leg like that!! but tsurumaru puts it as gently as he can, when he mentions: ]

This isn't the Shinsengumi anymore, right? So you can go ahead and have any kind of pet that you want.

[ hijikata has 3 jobs and nothing to spend his money on? he needs to start spending it on a pup. ] I prefer birds, personally — but it's up to you!

[ no, Tsuru... you weren't suppose to say that? you're suppose to get scared, or something like that. why can't you be like the normal people! ]

Hey, wait -

[ a sigh! no... no... he can't? ] That doesn't mean I was implying I wanted a pet.

[ no??? he doesn't??? not at all! but he'll make one comment. ] I'm not surprised you would, but they don't seem like the kind of pets that'd listen. That's why I prefer dogs.

[ the most loyal pets! ]

[ because he's not like normal people! he's a thousand years old, and he truly deserves death's sweet embrace by this point.

but a puppy will be good for him — it'll run around the house, pee all over the floors, and burrow in his kimonos, and hijikata will have to chase after it! that sounds like fun!! ]

Somehow, I can't say that I'm surprised.

[ why is he tsun for puppy... that's okay, though, because tsuru will push him along towards the dog section anyway. he points towards the screen, which now displays available breeds. ]

Here, here, take a look. Do you have any sizes in mind? [ like... a small pup? a medium-sized pup? a big pup? ]

[ ugh when can Hijikata return to Hakodate. ]

Aren't you listening? I said I didn't want one.

[ also Hijikata works at the cybuddy doggy groomers... he sees enough dogs everyday. some of them aren't very well trained! the shame. ]

I thought we were just looking.

[ immediately, he puts a hand to his ear, like — ]

What's that? I couldn't hear you.

[ but of course, tsuru heard every word just fine... gosh, why won't hijikata appreciate his efforts? he opens up the large-sized dog section anyway, because something like a german shepherd would definitely suit hijikata. ]

We are just looking. There's no harm in looking for the kind of dog that you'd buy, as if you were buying a dog, right?

[ he reaches over and gives Tsurumaru's ear a good tug. pay back. ]

Pay attention.

[ but anyway! oh look at that! a dog breed he hasn't seen before? he actually hasn't even seen one at the cybuddy groomers either... huh. so he points to the german shepherd. ]

What's that one?

[ AAAAAAAA WHY ]

Ow, ow! You're so mean.

[ when hijikata lets go, tsurumaru pats his ear, checking that it's still, you know, there. but doesn't hiji work as a dog groomer! what is this...

he eagerly explains, anyway. ] That's a German Shepherd. It's mostly used as a guard dog, and it can get pretty scary — it's a lot like you!

It doesn't come in too many colors... mostly black and brown, and then just black, if you're lucky. Those are more expensive, too.

I wouldn't be if you behaved.

[ common sense, Tsuru... common sense. ]

Is that so... [ maybe he's groomed one? he doesn't remember. leave it to dogs to be extremely expensive though... that's not even including items to take care of it as well.

well, he hasn't checked his credit balance in ages, but Hijikata knows he has more than enough to provide for a dog. NOT LIKE... he wants one or anything! no way... ]

They look nice, although it's hard to judge just from pictures. [ he reaches over for the phone screen and swipes towards the medium sized dog section to look at those instead. ]

But behaving is so boring.

[ common sense.... he doesn't know what that is. he's too old for common sense!

nonetheless, hijikata should surely have enough for the basics! a food bowl, a water bowl, some toys, a fluffy dog bed... and, well, he can draw on his own kink collection for collars and leashes, right? if not, then the dog collars that tsuru brought over (as a joke) can perhaps be of some use.

so he watches as the list of medium sized dogs appears, pressing his finger against the screen to stop it from scrolling once he sees a certain breed. ]

Aah, look! It's a Shiba — those are familiar, right? [ shibas in many colors... brown shibas, black-and-brown shibas with the >:) eyebrows, and even this one funky-looking shiba with really long black socks on its legs! ] If you want one, we should go see one.

[ aren't you suppose to gain common sense the more you live... what the heck.

he nods. ]

Yeah, I use to see them sometimes...

[ Pretty nice dogs! if they were trained right they were pretty loyal dogs, so Hijikata's heard at least. he pauses for a moment, then points towards a picture. ]

That one has a pretty interesting pattern, don't you think? [ the one with the black socks! but then he huffs. ] I told you... We were just looking.

[ he's going to be stubborn about this... ]

[ not when you've seen Rough Times for a thousand years... all of those common sense marbles? gone.

but that's interest, yes... definitely interest! hijikata can try to say all he wants otherwise! tsurumaru's eyes widen, because he's also taken a liking to that black sock pattern — it's not everyday that you see dogs like that, actually. ]

Aah, that one's pretty! I bet it's super cute, too.

[ it's perfect! this is it, this is the end of the pet hunt... their ideal puppy is here. ]

We can talk about which puppy is prettiest and still be just looking, you know.

[ huffing back! but obviously, he's going to scheme on going past "just looking". ] Anyway, how much is it? Is it too much?

It's hard to tell.

[ sure, it looks cute... he's not going to say that out loud though! but still, he needs to meet the puppy in person before judging it too much. besides, looks are just looks..! no just kidding, looks are important to Hijikata (have you SEEN Hijikata, gosh).

but the Shiba's coat is definitely... interesting. ]

It's not too much. It's not like I spend my credits much anyway... I haven't checked my balance in awhile.

[ why does Tsuru keep talking about money and getting it though... LOOK! ] You're really insistent on this, aren't you?

Then it should be okay, right?

[ it's not as if hijikata lives luxuriously, either, despite probably having enough credits to do just that. so now, he needs to treat himself!! and the first thing that he should treat himself to is a... pup. ]

Maaaybe I am, maybe I'm not! [ he wags a finger, but there's no denying that he is pretty insistent on it, though. ]

I know I put you through the whole effort of pinky promising, but if you wanted to go see it, I wouldn't... mind. Or, I could bring it here.

[ because this is cereal, maybe pet stores are much kinder here than in real life? who knows! maybe they'll let him bring the pup home, and then bring it back if he has to? ]

[ just because he might have a lot of credits doesn't mean it's okay!?

when you kind of grew up from a peasant family you don't really learn how to live luxuriously. you just kind of learn how to get by with the bare minimum and whatnot. which is what he prefers anyway? hard work always pays off! not like he was dirt poor, but they weren't rich either. they just lived their life.

Hijikata sighs. ]

I doubt it. Places that own pets are pretty strict, animals are expensive.

[ but who knows... ] I don't know if I should let you run off with my money anyway and- [ god damnit! damnit! Tsurumaru keeps distracting him! ] I keep saying it anyway... Just looking.

[ well, it's not as if they're looking into a pure pedigree dog and buying it gold-plated food bowls, or anything!! gosh, hijikata... lighten up a bit.

but tsurumaru grins, in that smug, knowing way that he's distracting hijikata on purpose. ]

Are we just looking, at this point? When humans have pets, they're much happier — and that helps them heal a lot faster.

[ he's watched a lot of animal shows lately, and he's learned lots of interesting (but mostly useless) facts!! at everything else, he shrugs his shoulders, because as much as hijikata's trying to say no... he'll fight through it. ]

Plus, why shouldn't you trust me with your money? If I ever want to use someone else's credits, I just put it on Mikazuki's tab.

[ when has Hijikata ever lighten up... the real q. ]

We are. So there's no point in asking such questions about how much it is and everything else.

[ he narrows his eyes. ] Does Mikazuki know this?

And besides, it's almost as if you think I can actually take care of a pet. Do you really think you can trust the demon vice-commander to do that?

[ was that sarcasm? was he being serious? who knows! although, still, as much as Hijikata tries to deny it if there's one thing he's good at is taking care of his troops at least. like a parent, almost. ]

[ at that, he sticks out his tongue and blows a very unhappy raspberry in hijikata's direction. boo!!! ]

Duh. He's so rich, he's always like "go wild"! And no matter how much I spend, he never runs out. It's insane.

[ mikazuki's wallet is limitless... why? tsurumaru doesn't know. but he can also do no wrong in mikazuki's eyes, apparently. ]

Well, the demon vice commander was very good at taking care of his... people, wasn't he?

[ 'people'... like, the members of the shinsengumi? it comes out kind of stilted, like a foreign word, but that's what tsuru's vaguely getting at. when all of your family groups die, you don't like using group words after that, like some sort of cursed voodoo family-killing magic.

but he smiles brightly, since he's super confident in hijikata's ability to care!! even if he's tsun. ] I'm sure it's no different with a puppy.

[ now Hijikata can't help but think Tsurumaru's kind of spoiled? well, he shouldn't be surprised at this... really.

but geez. he really can't deny that, can he? there's also no denying that the Shinsengumi was basically family so of course, naturally, he takes care of them with all his heart! he's not going to go deep and talk about the Shinsengumi now though.

he only runs a hand through his bangs before speaking again. ]

I'll think about it. Will that answer satisfy you enough?

[ at this rate it'll probably be easier to just surprise Hijikata with it, because he doesn't want to say yes. who can say no to a puppy after looking at its big ol cute puppy eyes anyway? ]

[ he was spoiled, but it came at a price; he would gladly give all of that up and go back to living a humble life and being owned by a samurai clan, because money can't buy you the admiration or respect of your owners...

there's a thoughtful tap at his chin, and after thinking it over, tsurumaru figures that that's as far as hijikata will go on this, so he feigns giving up. ]

I guess. For now, that's good enough.

[ he's definitely going to surprise him with it soon... maybe even within the next day? or in the next few hours? it's a mystery...

for now, though, mostly because he's been dying to know: ] But if you had a dog — yes, I know, but indulge me, okay? — what would you name it?

[ maybe Tsurumaru will experience the respect and humbleness from samurai again! even if it's from Hijikata... in his own little Hijikata way. his personality is basically akin to a moldy, old garbage bag sometimes but he takes the samurai stuff almost too seriously. maybe that's... something?

but finally... Hijikata won the battle. how long were they going back and forth about this? he doesn't remember.

and...

another question. ]

Ah, well... ... ... [ he thinks about it... thinks about it a lot! mostly because he never really thought about it? but... it doesn't take as long to come to a conclusion. when your thought goes from naming - searching for 'pretty' things (which in Hijikata's head pretty = nature), then to his poetry... ]

Ume... Perhaps.

[ yes... Ume! a very pretty flower to make a very pretty name, right? ]

[ even if hijikata overdoes the samurai stuff, tsurumaru will appreciate it, rather than finding it weird, because people who are steadfast to the samurai code aren't filthy and greedy and everything that he hates about humans as a whole... they're respectful, good people!

he'll give hijikata the false satisfaction of thinking he's won for now — although, tsurumaru was very much present during kashuu's online gossip corner, enough to make a possible connection between that name choice and a certain poem, in particular...

so he beams, as he recites off of the tip of his tongue — ]

Because ume will be ume, is that right?

[ what flower! what are these excuses! ]

[ there's almost this... small flash of horror, surprise across Hijikata's expression when he recites that. but he hides it quickly because no... he can't give Tsurumaru that satisfaction!

so he hides it by immediately furrowing his eyebrows and scowling at Tsurumaru. ]

Don't say that ever again or I'll cut off your tongue.

[ he crosses his arms and looks away. this mocking! he had enough of it! only Mikazuki truly appreciates his poems... that he's still incredibly shy about sharing. but even so... ]

Can't really think of anything else, though... [ ume is a good name??? it's a good name, he thinks. ]

[ he decides that needs to recite hijikata's poems more often, because the reaction that he gets is way too funny... but you know, tsukumogami body parts grow back!! they've been over this!! ]

Geez, you always say that — but would you really? It'll grow back, so feel free to deliver on that promise any time.

[ first he's into dog kinks, and now he's into amputation, apparently... humans never cease to amaze him. despite its questionable origins, ume is a nice name, and when he says it, it rolls off of his tongue in the way that a pet's name should, so he brightens. ]

Ume it is, then! You should get used to saying that name out loud, because soon enough, you'll be saying it a lot — especially if it pees on your floors and takes off.

[ the puppy's coming home, hijikata... don't fight it. ]

[ he's still scowling. ]

Yes, I'm serious. Unless you want me to do anything else - or more - I have plenty I can do to you.

[ huff!

... he needs to hide his Hogyoku book... he really does. maybe under his pillows. under his futon? somewhere Tsurumaru won't think of. he can never get his nose into that book. never!

and... nope, still scowling! damn, okay Hijikata. ]

Didn't I just tell you we're not buying any pet?

[ his scowls have no effect! all that his words manage to do is to make tsurumaru lean forward, until his face is only a few inches away. ]

Is that so...? Then, why don't you go ahead and tell me? At this point, I'm going to think that the scariest thing you're capable of is saying that you'll cut off someone's tongue.

[ which is probably pretty scary for most people, but not when you're an ancient sword spirit... no, scratch that, it's probably also scary for a sword spirit, but not when you're one that loves to die.

anyway, hijikata may be difficult, but tsurumaru has the iron stubbornness of a child, so he won't give up easily. ]

And I'm telling you that we are. You can fight me all you want, but I doubt you'll get very far. [ his gaze slides over towards that cast, of course... ]

i'm not the one who ties rope around people's necks

im a vice captain i do what i want with my rope...

"i do what i want" - signed, hijikata

exactly!! no sassing the vice commander

sasses him anyway

*kills u*

:o :D >:D ???!?!?!?

STOP THIS

YOU STARTED IT

uhm no i didnt!

uhm yes you did!!

:o no i didnt :O

don't you :O me, i see through your lies

i dont lie :3c

you just did :/ :\

i have no idea what ur talking about :o :3

don't you :3 me, smacks the :3 off of ur face

no! >:3c

AAAAAAA puts tape on your :3 so that you're :|

but my :3 ?

no... no more :3, just :|

what about >:^3

puts your nose in my pocket, now you have no nose :O

komyu voice: im just a hole

alright pack your sleeping bags we're going to church

kills u