But he'll go look in the mirror! also, no he would never put the scarf on like a moron... but mirror time! ]
Hmm... [ he does take several moments to get a VERY GOOD look at his own reflection... he hasn't worn a scarf purely for fashion before. kind of weird, but... ]
[ HE KNOWS... but okay, time to switch out scarves! he'll give the red one back to Kashuu and take the new one.
Kashuu is so excited about this... he's so weird??? ]
This one isn't so bad either, these are just difficult to put on. [ BUT... that's just because Hijikata has too much hair. the struggle is real! but without further-ado... he puts the scarf on. ]
I was summoned with this one, so of course I'm gonna wear 'em a lot.
[It's cozy and familiar, okay!! And still very stylish, which is obviously always the most important part.]
They're not that hard to put on. [Clearly he just needs to cut some of that spare hair off.......
Or not, just put it on the boring old normal way!! Kashuu watches carefully as he tries on another color, giving it a scrutinizing look before apparently deciding it is Passable and nodding.]
I think the first one has a better color for you, but this one's not bad.
[ ugh no the hair the charm point!? he can't say good-bye to it... although, he probably hasn't cut his hair in like ten years let's be real.
but true, it is pretty stylish... hm... he doesn't know if this truly fits Hijikata though. well, he's going to take off the scarf and hand it back to Kashuu. ]
Well, I always liked red, so I'd probably lean towards that to.
[ a pause. ]
Anything else? [ please, there must be more than just scarves. ]
He'll take the scarf once it's handed back though, carefully folding it up. There's a second where he's SERIOUSLY TEMPTED to just hand over some more scarves just to be sure they picked a good color but - no. No, he'll resist.]
Mmm, what about jackets? Or like, sweaters or cardigans? D'you have anything like that?
please no more scarves... although buying the red one is pretty tempting! unless Kashuu plans on just buying them no matter what Hijikata says and surprise! you got more clothes in your wardrobe! ]
[ WAS IT... but he shakes his head, as he will try to DEFEND HIS (NOT SO) FASHIONABLE HONOR... ] I was just fine with the clothes I had anyway... I also never tried anything with buttons, I just never thought about it.
[ maybe he did, but he didn't put on the priority list?
ugh. Hijikata, a man that needs to get with the times just like he did post-Toba... ]
Really? We're going to get all of that? [ this is going to be a long shopping trip then... ]
[Four months of wandering around in this... Four whole months. Kashuu would almost feel pity if Hijikata didn't just totally bring this down upon himself like a fashionless nerd.]
You really need some variety.
[AND ALSO BUTTONS.]
We're getting all of that and probably more! If you don't have any of these things, you need at least one of each so you can start changing up your wardrobe. We can check out the shirts and pants, too.
[ don't have too much pity or Hijikata will get grumpy and hightail right out of here! ]
I mean, I've been fine until now.
[ until some of his clothes got ruined... he's totally been running out of things to wear so that's definitely a reason why he hasn't really disagreed to a change in wardrobe. ]
[He can't hightail it out now that he's set foot into Kashuu's domain, okay. It's like a grass pokemon trying to take down a charizard in the middle of a volcano.]
You probably only think you've been fine 'cause that's the kind of stubborn guy you are. But we're fixing all of that now! First, we'll start with tops since they're easier to get on. [Already implying he doesn't think Hijikata will be able to put on his own pants...]
Let's go, let's go!
[AND AWAY... Kashuu nyooms through racks with expert precision, picking out fashionably baggy cardigans, cleanly cut vests and button-up shirts, those ridiculous poncho things that are in vogue, nicely tailored jackets... SO MANY THINGS. All in a variety of colors too, though he'll be mindful of Hijikata's preferences.]
[Hijikata may think that now but will he still think it when Kashuu shoves him into skintight pants and suggests he tries on some heels?? That's where the true test comes in...
Either way, he totally ignores that first claim like the rudeass he is and just sort of merrily continues onward, picking out SO MANY THINGS until he has a towering pile of stuff.]
Eh, d'you think so? This is about how much I get in the first round.
[Staring at Hijikata like duh. He went shopping with a shopaholic and turned over the keys to him, okay. That's what he got himself into. Literal hell.]
Here, here - Take these!
[Just SHOVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF OVER. It's basically all this kind of stuff honestly. Please at least be able to mix and match well, Hijikata...]
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
[ UGH... WHAT DID HIJIKATA GET HIMSELF INTO HE BETTER GET FREE SHIT FOR THIS.
but first he just... looks around because Kashuu just shoved clothes into his hands and that's it? but he's not that dumb because he does see the dressing room sign!
soo he'll just go over there then lock a door behind him because well, he really wasn't prepared to get dressed right in the middle of the shop. OKAY LET'S SEE - TIME TO SIFT THROUGH THESE CLOTHES. ]
. . . . Well, hopefully this won't be that bad...
[ no, this will be because he's totally putting on this shirt and these pants!
and. . . it's time for the reveal, so he leaves the dressing room! HOW DID HE DO KASHUU? ]
[HE'S GETTING FREE SHIT OKAY he's getting free clothing, duh!! Kashuu wouldn't take a grandpa in need out on a shopping spree without being able to cover for it, he knows Hijikata's got to save his money for his life alert bills.
But oh man... WELL. There he goes, that Hijikata, about to get dressed in modern outfits on his own for the first time.
It's a mess.]
...Wow. We're really gonna have to start from square one, huh?
[Individually, these pieces aren't even that bad! Outlandish, but still stylish in that off the cuff way! Together, no.]
I figured you'd be able to put something together, that's why!
[BUT NO, Hijikata proved him wrong and now his "I can dress myself" privileges are being revoked until he knows how Western clothing work.]
Okay, gimme a second--
[Into the dressing room he goes, so he can rifle through the pile himself!! He'll pick out the red blazer, a collared shirt, and pants, handing them over.]
[ LOOK, HIJIKATA TRIED... and that's what matters. can he at least get an A for effort. please Kashuu... ]
Fine, fine.
[ he'll nab the clothes out of Kashuu's grubby little okitagumi paws, and shoo him out of the dressing room. SHOO SHOO. then he closes the door again. . .
well getting the tops on were pretty easy. he got the idea of buttons down pretty fast!
but these pants... what. . . what the hell is this. THE PANTS HE HAD ON EARLIER WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER TO WEAR!? ]
[He can get an A for effort because it's just sad otherwise...
But out he goes once he's shooed! Even though he sticks near the door just in case Hijikata needs some help and oh boy, look at that, Hijikata needs some help.]
Yeah, they are. They're form-fitting! That's the style.
[ suffering for fashion... what kind of weird brand of masochism is this...
one Hijikata would actually do? sometimes you gotta suffer to Look Good? yes. ]
Well... That's different, but...
[ it's not like he was having trouble putting them on! he doesn't need help! he was just making sure they're suppose to be that form-fitting? but okay time to just... get these on.
there we go! Kashuu's excellent taste in fashion is finally showing through because this actually doesn't look that bad? Hijikata's impressed! ]
Okay, here. [ opening the door! aaa look at that, the reveal... incredible. ]
But look, see! It's totally worth the discomfort of occasional chafing and tucking! He's done a good job and Hijikata has too just by virtue of being able to pull this insanity off. Kashuu claps his hands together, clearly delighted! Unlike the last time where he just wanted to go take a nap for a long, long time.]
Way better! Watcha thing? See what I'm talking about? That looks really good on you.
[HE'S DOING THE FULL 360 WALKAROUND gotta see Hijikata from every angle. Please appreciate his hard work, Tsurumaru.]
Well, it's going to take a bit to get use to. I thought tight clothes would restrict movement, but I guess that's not the case.
[ which is why he was a bit unsure about it at first... but he really can move just fine in these clothes. now, if he can fight in them then he'll definitely be okay with this (if Kashuu can fight in heels then Hijikata can do anything).
aaaaaaaa Kashuu why ya gotta... he's waving a hand at Kashuu to shoo him away AGAIN? ]
Whatever. So, what are the general rules of... Matching, then.
[ he doesn't want to make the same mistake again!! ]
:knife emoji:
[ HAND WAVE... WHY IS KASHUU SO PERSISTENT...
But he'll go look in the mirror! also, no he would never put the scarf on like a moron... but mirror time! ]
Hmm... [ he does take several moments to get a VERY GOOD look at his own reflection... he hasn't worn a scarf purely for fashion before. kind of weird, but... ]
It's actually not too bad, I think.
[ ??? ]
Why
But Kashuu will trot up behind him (now he has another scarf, too?!) and peer into the mirror.]
Not bad at all! Scarves are good accessories.
[Not that he's got a bias or anything...]
Here, here! Try another color!
had it not been for the laws of this land... i would have slaughtered you
[ HE KNOWS... but okay, time to switch out scarves! he'll give the red one back to Kashuu and take the new one.
Kashuu is so excited about this... he's so weird??? ]
This one isn't so bad either, these are just difficult to put on. [ BUT... that's just because Hijikata has too much hair. the struggle is real! but without further-ado... he puts the scarf on. ]
Well, how about it?
ur the one who made the rules grandpa
[It's cozy and familiar, okay!! And still very stylish, which is obviously always the most important part.]
They're not that hard to put on. [Clearly he just needs to cut some of that spare hair off.......
Or not, just put it on the boring old normal way!! Kashuu watches carefully as he tries on another color, giving it a scrutinizing look before apparently deciding it is Passable and nodding.]
I think the first one has a better color for you, but this one's not bad.
okay you got me there but ... listen
but true, it is pretty stylish... hm... he doesn't know if this truly fits Hijikata though. well, he's going to take off the scarf and hand it back to Kashuu. ]
Well, I always liked red, so I'd probably lean towards that to.
[ a pause. ]
Anything else? [ please, there must be more than just scarves. ]
JUST REWRITE THE RULES
He'll take the scarf once it's handed back though, carefully folding it up. There's a second where he's SERIOUSLY TEMPTED to just hand over some more scarves just to be sure they picked a good color but - no. No, he'll resist.]
Mmm, what about jackets? Or like, sweaters or cardigans? D'you have anything like that?
[Giving Hijikata a SCRUTINIZING LOOK.]
WHY???
please no more scarves... although buying the red one is pretty tempting! unless Kashuu plans on just buying them no matter what Hijikata says and surprise! you got more clothes in your wardrobe! ]
What- don't give me that look!
[ AAA KASHUU STOP... he just crosses his arms. ]
. . . I don't have anything like that though.
SO THEN U CAN STABBA, DUH
He's also NOT STOPPING OKAY JUST GONNA KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH HIS VAGUELY JUDGMENTAL LOOK.]
You've been here how long by now, and you still don't have any of those things?
[DISBELIEVING.]
We're definitely gonna need to fix that like, right away.
YOU GOTTA LEARN TO STABBA RESPONSIBLY AND ACCORDING TO THE REGULATIONS...........
[ WAS IT... but he shakes his head, as he will try to DEFEND HIS (NOT SO) FASHIONABLE HONOR... ] I was just fine with the clothes I had anyway... I also never tried anything with buttons, I just never thought about it.
[ maybe he did, but he didn't put on the priority list?
ugh. Hijikata, a man that needs to get with the times just like he did post-Toba... ]
Really? We're going to get all of that? [ this is going to be a long shopping trip then... ]
WHERES THE FUN IN THAT
You really need some variety.
[AND ALSO BUTTONS.]
We're getting all of that and probably more! If you don't have any of these things, you need at least one of each so you can start changing up your wardrobe. We can check out the shirts and pants, too.
[TIME FOR WESTERN PANTS, GRANDPA.]
PLEASE STAB RESPONSIBLY?
I mean, I've been fine until now.
[ until some of his clothes got ruined... he's totally been running out of things to wear so that's definitely a reason why he hasn't really disagreed to a change in wardrobe. ]
I... [ . . . it can't be that bad, right? ]
Okay, fine. What are we starting with first.
says the candlewax commander
You probably only think you've been fine 'cause that's the kind of stubborn guy you are. But we're fixing all of that now! First, we'll start with tops since they're easier to get on. [Already implying he doesn't think Hijikata will be able to put on his own pants...]
Let's go, let's go!
[AND AWAY... Kashuu nyooms through racks with expert precision, picking out fashionably baggy cardigans, cleanly cut vests and button-up shirts, those ridiculous poncho things that are in vogue, nicely tailored jackets... SO MANY THINGS. All in a variety of colors too, though he'll be mindful of Hijikata's preferences.]
HIJIKATA CANDLEWAXES RESPONSIBLY?
[ REALLY... HE REALLY WAS! o..kay no.
but why does Kashuu think Hijikata can't put on western clothes? Hijikata can do anything he wants if he believes. BUT... he'll follow him?!
but gosh, he's picking out a lot of things -- so fast too. you can definitely tell he's use to this. ]
Ah... That's a lot of stuff. [ internal screaming, probably. ]
i........ r u sure..
Either way, he totally ignores that first claim like the rudeass he is and just sort of merrily continues onward, picking out SO MANY THINGS until he has a towering pile of stuff.]
Eh, d'you think so? This is about how much I get in the first round.
[He has rounds...]
Anyway! Ready to try some on?
YES??? do you doubt me.. hand over heart :(
Implying... There's more to come?
[ what did he get himself into... ]
Well, I don't have a choice do I... So, let's get this over with. [ BEFORE ROUND 2, APPARENTLY. ]
OF COURSE
[Staring at Hijikata like duh. He went shopping with a shopaholic and turned over the keys to him, okay. That's what he got himself into. Literal hell.]
Here, here - Take these!
[Just SHOVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF OVER. It's basically all this kind of stuff honestly. Please at least be able to mix and match well, Hijikata...]
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
but first he just... looks around because Kashuu just shoved clothes into his hands and that's it? but he's not that dumb because he does see the dressing room sign!
soo he'll just go over there then lock a door behind him because well, he really wasn't prepared to get dressed right in the middle of the shop. OKAY LET'S SEE - TIME TO SIFT THROUGH THESE CLOTHES. ]
. . . . Well, hopefully this won't be that bad...
[ no, this will be because he's totally putting on this shirt and these pants!
and. . . it's time for the reveal, so he leaves the dressing room! HOW DID HE DO KASHUU? ]
why did sho do this to us
But oh man... WELL. There he goes, that Hijikata, about to get dressed in modern outfits on his own for the first time.
It's a mess.]
...Wow. We're really gonna have to start from square one, huh?
[Individually, these pieces aren't even that bad! Outlandish, but still stylish in that off the cuff way! Together, no.]
AAAAAAA I LAUGHED SO HARD KASHUU UR TIRED
Well... You just gave them to me without saying anything else..!
[ ugh... ugh...
he crosses his arms. ]
You pick something if you know all about this stuff then.
HE NEEDS A LONGASS NAP
[BUT NO, Hijikata proved him wrong and now his "I can dress myself" privileges are being revoked until he knows how Western clothing work.]
Okay, gimme a second--
[Into the dressing room he goes, so he can rifle through the pile himself!! He'll pick out the red blazer, a collared shirt, and pants, handing them over.]
Try these.
AAA IM THE ONE THAT DESERVES A NAP
Fine, fine.
[ he'll nab the clothes out of Kashuu's grubby little okitagumi paws, and shoo him out of the dressing room. SHOO SHOO. then he closes the door again. . .
well getting the tops on were pretty easy. he got the idea of buttons down pretty fast!
but these pants... what. . . what the hell is this. THE PANTS HE HAD ON EARLIER WE'RE SO MUCH EASIER TO WEAR!? ]
Are these suppose to be. . . . This tight?
[ pants ?? ? ?? ? ? ]
GO TAKE A NAP THEN U ELDERLY PERSON
But out he goes once he's shooed! Even though he sticks near the door just in case Hijikata needs some help and oh boy, look at that, Hijikata needs some help.]
Yeah, they are. They're form-fitting! That's the style.
[Doesn't Hijikata want to be fashionable??]
I'mma make sure kashuu takes an eternal nap
one Hijikata would actually do? sometimes you gotta suffer to Look Good? yes. ]
Well... That's different, but...
[ it's not like he was having trouble putting them on! he doesn't need help! he was just making sure they're suppose to be that form-fitting? but okay time to just... get these on.
there we go! Kashuu's excellent taste in fashion is finally showing through because this actually doesn't look that bad? Hijikata's impressed! ]
Okay, here. [ opening the door! aaa look at that, the reveal... incredible. ]
Better?
wtf HE'S TRYING TO HELP
But look, see! It's totally worth the discomfort of occasional chafing and tucking! He's done a good job and Hijikata has too just by virtue of being able to pull this insanity off. Kashuu claps his hands together, clearly delighted! Unlike the last time where he just wanted to go take a nap for a long, long time.]
Way better! Watcha thing? See what I'm talking about? That looks really good on you.
[HE'S DOING THE FULL 360 WALKAROUND gotta see Hijikata from every angle. Please appreciate his hard work, Tsurumaru.]
STOP!!!! OKITAGUMIS ARE LIL DEMONS AND GOTTA GO
Well, it's going to take a bit to get use to. I thought tight clothes would restrict movement, but I guess that's not the case.
[ which is why he was a bit unsure about it at first... but he really can move just fine in these clothes. now, if he can fight in them then he'll definitely be okay with this (if Kashuu can fight in heels then Hijikata can do anything).
aaaaaaaa Kashuu why ya gotta... he's waving a hand at Kashuu to shoo him away AGAIN? ]
Whatever. So, what are the general rules of... Matching, then.
[ he doesn't want to make the same mistake again!! ]
STOP WHY DONT BE MEAN TO THE PURE BEANS
dam u ... makin those funny jokes again i see!!
UGH LOOK U slamdunks into the trash
slam dunks u back to ikedaya
this is why u get hakodated
YA GONNA GET IKEDAYA'D
WHY IS HIJIKATA EXHAUSTING