[ let him be a punkass for at least 0.2 seconds because Kashuu is a punkass to Hijikata like every moment he breathes? ]
If that's the case... [ maybe it's a sword spirit thing... also Kashuu is Weird.
Hijikata shrugs. ]
I guess, I wear them when it snows, you know? It can get pretty cold during the winter. [ why is Hijikata function > fashion sometimes... he's probably missing the point. ]
[Stop look he's gotta, it's an actual physical need, totally on par with needing to eat and breathe.]
Geez, you old man. They're for looks, not warmth! ...Some, anyway. I mean- [He plucks up one of the thinnest-looking scarfs on the rack, holding it out for Hijikata to feel.] -d'you think this is gonna keep anyone from freezing to death? Nope! But it'll look way cute in summer.
[AND NOW HE'S DIGGING AROUND looking for different colors...!]
What's your favorite color, anyway? I think you'd probably look good in dark blues or purples. Maaaybe you could pull off greens, too... Maybe.
[ he's giving you THE LOOK KASHUU!!! stop he's still young-ish... do your early 30s count as young? maybe during the samurai days because everyone's dying too easily??? the mystery...
but he does give a scarf an experimental touch... that is pretty thin! looks like fashion is more complicated than he thought. ]
I like red. I wore purple sometimes though. [ BUT HE WEARS BLACK AND GREY LIKE 90% OF THE TIME... Kashuu has probably noticed this? ]
[Well, he finally said it. Now when will he call Hijikata Hijiji and fulfill the prophecy??
Kashuu has 100% noticed how DRAB Hijikata's wardrobe is, though. That's why he suggested all colors instead of being like, here's a grey one, grey like your usual outfits, now you can blend into the grey downtown areas of a big city.]
Try some! Here, here-- [PICKING OUT SCARVES. There's a dark red, a darker purple, a couple of different blues, and of course a few greens - all more on the blue side of the spectrum than the yellow.]
AAA KASHUU YOU SOILED IT [spongebob voice] soiled it soiled it soiled it
[ WHEN WILL HIJIJI BECOME REALITY... but no, Kashuu just gets YET ANOTHER GLARE because how dare he!!! call Hijikata old still!!!
it's been awhile since Hijikata worn colourful clothes though... he did it a lot when he was younger! he tries not to look too flashy now, you know? he has BUSINESS to take care of and people who are about BUSINESS are usually not flashy.
but... Kashuu took him out and is helping him not burn a hole in his wallet so maybe he'll take him up on this. only this one time! ]
Okay, okay that's enough. [ YOU'RE PICKING OUT TOO MANY COLOURS KASHUU. he'll pick the red scarf though. gotta go with the red. always.
then he shoves the rest of the scarves back to Kashuu. well... Hijikata's wearing black right now and red goes good with black, right? this should be fine. ]
Let's see... Not a specific way to put this on, is there? [ because he's already putting it around his neck the Usual Scarf Way. ]
[HIJIJI WILL BECOME A REALITY IN DUE TIME... Kashuu ignores the glare for now, and he doesn't put the other scarves back yet either. Everything goes well with black, punk!! Even if he's also pretty biased toward red.]
At least try on one or two more, okay? It's not like it takes a lot of effort to put on a scarf.
[Anyway, shaking his head! As long as Hijikata puts it on with the ends in front and not in the back like certain morons.]
Nope! There are a ton of different ways you can tie a scarf, but that way's pretty universal, I think. Go look in a mirror!
But he'll go look in the mirror! also, no he would never put the scarf on like a moron... but mirror time! ]
Hmm... [ he does take several moments to get a VERY GOOD look at his own reflection... he hasn't worn a scarf purely for fashion before. kind of weird, but... ]
[ HE KNOWS... but okay, time to switch out scarves! he'll give the red one back to Kashuu and take the new one.
Kashuu is so excited about this... he's so weird??? ]
This one isn't so bad either, these are just difficult to put on. [ BUT... that's just because Hijikata has too much hair. the struggle is real! but without further-ado... he puts the scarf on. ]
I was summoned with this one, so of course I'm gonna wear 'em a lot.
[It's cozy and familiar, okay!! And still very stylish, which is obviously always the most important part.]
They're not that hard to put on. [Clearly he just needs to cut some of that spare hair off.......
Or not, just put it on the boring old normal way!! Kashuu watches carefully as he tries on another color, giving it a scrutinizing look before apparently deciding it is Passable and nodding.]
I think the first one has a better color for you, but this one's not bad.
[ ugh no the hair the charm point!? he can't say good-bye to it... although, he probably hasn't cut his hair in like ten years let's be real.
but true, it is pretty stylish... hm... he doesn't know if this truly fits Hijikata though. well, he's going to take off the scarf and hand it back to Kashuu. ]
Well, I always liked red, so I'd probably lean towards that to.
[ a pause. ]
Anything else? [ please, there must be more than just scarves. ]
He'll take the scarf once it's handed back though, carefully folding it up. There's a second where he's SERIOUSLY TEMPTED to just hand over some more scarves just to be sure they picked a good color but - no. No, he'll resist.]
Mmm, what about jackets? Or like, sweaters or cardigans? D'you have anything like that?
please no more scarves... although buying the red one is pretty tempting! unless Kashuu plans on just buying them no matter what Hijikata says and surprise! you got more clothes in your wardrobe! ]
[ WAS IT... but he shakes his head, as he will try to DEFEND HIS (NOT SO) FASHIONABLE HONOR... ] I was just fine with the clothes I had anyway... I also never tried anything with buttons, I just never thought about it.
[ maybe he did, but he didn't put on the priority list?
ugh. Hijikata, a man that needs to get with the times just like he did post-Toba... ]
Really? We're going to get all of that? [ this is going to be a long shopping trip then... ]
[Four months of wandering around in this... Four whole months. Kashuu would almost feel pity if Hijikata didn't just totally bring this down upon himself like a fashionless nerd.]
You really need some variety.
[AND ALSO BUTTONS.]
We're getting all of that and probably more! If you don't have any of these things, you need at least one of each so you can start changing up your wardrobe. We can check out the shirts and pants, too.
[ don't have too much pity or Hijikata will get grumpy and hightail right out of here! ]
I mean, I've been fine until now.
[ until some of his clothes got ruined... he's totally been running out of things to wear so that's definitely a reason why he hasn't really disagreed to a change in wardrobe. ]
[He can't hightail it out now that he's set foot into Kashuu's domain, okay. It's like a grass pokemon trying to take down a charizard in the middle of a volcano.]
You probably only think you've been fine 'cause that's the kind of stubborn guy you are. But we're fixing all of that now! First, we'll start with tops since they're easier to get on. [Already implying he doesn't think Hijikata will be able to put on his own pants...]
Let's go, let's go!
[AND AWAY... Kashuu nyooms through racks with expert precision, picking out fashionably baggy cardigans, cleanly cut vests and button-up shirts, those ridiculous poncho things that are in vogue, nicely tailored jackets... SO MANY THINGS. All in a variety of colors too, though he'll be mindful of Hijikata's preferences.]
[Hijikata may think that now but will he still think it when Kashuu shoves him into skintight pants and suggests he tries on some heels?? That's where the true test comes in...
Either way, he totally ignores that first claim like the rudeass he is and just sort of merrily continues onward, picking out SO MANY THINGS until he has a towering pile of stuff.]
Eh, d'you think so? This is about how much I get in the first round.
[Staring at Hijikata like duh. He went shopping with a shopaholic and turned over the keys to him, okay. That's what he got himself into. Literal hell.]
Here, here - Take these!
[Just SHOVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF OVER. It's basically all this kind of stuff honestly. Please at least be able to mix and match well, Hijikata...]
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
[ UGH... WHAT DID HIJIKATA GET HIMSELF INTO HE BETTER GET FREE SHIT FOR THIS.
but first he just... looks around because Kashuu just shoved clothes into his hands and that's it? but he's not that dumb because he does see the dressing room sign!
soo he'll just go over there then lock a door behind him because well, he really wasn't prepared to get dressed right in the middle of the shop. OKAY LET'S SEE - TIME TO SIFT THROUGH THESE CLOTHES. ]
. . . . Well, hopefully this won't be that bad...
[ no, this will be because he's totally putting on this shirt and these pants!
and. . . it's time for the reveal, so he leaves the dressing room! HOW DID HE DO KASHUU? ]
[HE'S GETTING FREE SHIT OKAY he's getting free clothing, duh!! Kashuu wouldn't take a grandpa in need out on a shopping spree without being able to cover for it, he knows Hijikata's got to save his money for his life alert bills.
But oh man... WELL. There he goes, that Hijikata, about to get dressed in modern outfits on his own for the first time.
It's a mess.]
...Wow. We're really gonna have to start from square one, huh?
[Individually, these pieces aren't even that bad! Outlandish, but still stylish in that off the cuff way! Together, no.]
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hijiwanwan) wrote2015-09-14 12:06 am
UGH... it's time.. fashion matching
If that's the case... [ maybe it's a sword spirit thing... also Kashuu is Weird.
Hijikata shrugs. ]
I guess, I wear them when it snows, you know? It can get pretty cold during the winter. [ why is Hijikata function > fashion sometimes... he's probably missing the point. ]
ugh look its the same as wearing matching haoris
Geez, you old man. They're for looks, not warmth! ...Some, anyway. I mean- [He plucks up one of the thinnest-looking scarfs on the rack, holding it out for Hijikata to feel.] -d'you think this is gonna keep anyone from freezing to death? Nope! But it'll look way cute in summer.
[AND NOW HE'S DIGGING AROUND looking for different colors...!]
What's your favorite color, anyway? I think you'd probably look good in dark blues or purples. Maaaybe you could pull off greens, too... Maybe.
uhm wheres your haori kashuu :/
[ he's giving you THE LOOK KASHUU!!! stop he's still young-ish... do your early 30s count as young? maybe during the samurai days because everyone's dying too easily??? the mystery...
but he does give a scarf an experimental touch... that is pretty thin! looks like fashion is more complicated than he thought. ]
I like red. I wore purple sometimes though. [ BUT HE WEARS BLACK AND GREY LIKE 90% OF THE TIME... Kashuu has probably noticed this? ]
Never thought about green though.
buried tbh
[Well, he finally said it. Now when will he call Hijikata Hijiji and fulfill the prophecy??
Kashuu has 100% noticed how DRAB Hijikata's wardrobe is, though. That's why he suggested all colors instead of being like, here's a grey one, grey like your usual outfits, now you can blend into the grey downtown areas of a big city.]
Try some! Here, here-- [PICKING OUT SCARVES. There's a dark red, a darker purple, a couple of different blues, and of course a few greens - all more on the blue side of the spectrum than the yellow.]
AAA KASHUU YOU SOILED IT [spongebob voice] soiled it soiled it soiled it
it's been awhile since Hijikata worn colourful clothes though... he did it a lot when he was younger! he tries not to look too flashy now, you know? he has BUSINESS to take care of and people who are about BUSINESS are usually not flashy.
but... Kashuu took him out and is helping him not burn a hole in his wallet so maybe he'll take him up on this. only this one time! ]
Okay, okay that's enough. [ YOU'RE PICKING OUT TOO MANY COLOURS KASHUU. he'll pick the red scarf though. gotta go with the red. always.
then he shoves the rest of the scarves back to Kashuu. well... Hijikata's wearing black right now and red goes good with black, right? this should be fine. ]
Let's see... Not a specific way to put this on, is there? [ because he's already putting it around his neck the Usual Scarf Way. ]
STOP WHEN WILL YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME in hell
At least try on one or two more, okay? It's not like it takes a lot of effort to put on a scarf.
[Anyway, shaking his head! As long as Hijikata puts it on with the ends in front and not in the back like certain morons.]
Nope! There are a ton of different ways you can tie a scarf, but that way's pretty universal, I think. Go look in a mirror!
:knife emoji:
[ HAND WAVE... WHY IS KASHUU SO PERSISTENT...
But he'll go look in the mirror! also, no he would never put the scarf on like a moron... but mirror time! ]
Hmm... [ he does take several moments to get a VERY GOOD look at his own reflection... he hasn't worn a scarf purely for fashion before. kind of weird, but... ]
It's actually not too bad, I think.
[ ??? ]
Why
But Kashuu will trot up behind him (now he has another scarf, too?!) and peer into the mirror.]
Not bad at all! Scarves are good accessories.
[Not that he's got a bias or anything...]
Here, here! Try another color!
had it not been for the laws of this land... i would have slaughtered you
[ HE KNOWS... but okay, time to switch out scarves! he'll give the red one back to Kashuu and take the new one.
Kashuu is so excited about this... he's so weird??? ]
This one isn't so bad either, these are just difficult to put on. [ BUT... that's just because Hijikata has too much hair. the struggle is real! but without further-ado... he puts the scarf on. ]
Well, how about it?
ur the one who made the rules grandpa
[It's cozy and familiar, okay!! And still very stylish, which is obviously always the most important part.]
They're not that hard to put on. [Clearly he just needs to cut some of that spare hair off.......
Or not, just put it on the boring old normal way!! Kashuu watches carefully as he tries on another color, giving it a scrutinizing look before apparently deciding it is Passable and nodding.]
I think the first one has a better color for you, but this one's not bad.
okay you got me there but ... listen
but true, it is pretty stylish... hm... he doesn't know if this truly fits Hijikata though. well, he's going to take off the scarf and hand it back to Kashuu. ]
Well, I always liked red, so I'd probably lean towards that to.
[ a pause. ]
Anything else? [ please, there must be more than just scarves. ]
JUST REWRITE THE RULES
He'll take the scarf once it's handed back though, carefully folding it up. There's a second where he's SERIOUSLY TEMPTED to just hand over some more scarves just to be sure they picked a good color but - no. No, he'll resist.]
Mmm, what about jackets? Or like, sweaters or cardigans? D'you have anything like that?
[Giving Hijikata a SCRUTINIZING LOOK.]
WHY???
please no more scarves... although buying the red one is pretty tempting! unless Kashuu plans on just buying them no matter what Hijikata says and surprise! you got more clothes in your wardrobe! ]
What- don't give me that look!
[ AAA KASHUU STOP... he just crosses his arms. ]
. . . I don't have anything like that though.
SO THEN U CAN STABBA, DUH
He's also NOT STOPPING OKAY JUST GONNA KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH HIS VAGUELY JUDGMENTAL LOOK.]
You've been here how long by now, and you still don't have any of those things?
[DISBELIEVING.]
We're definitely gonna need to fix that like, right away.
YOU GOTTA LEARN TO STABBA RESPONSIBLY AND ACCORDING TO THE REGULATIONS...........
[ WAS IT... but he shakes his head, as he will try to DEFEND HIS (NOT SO) FASHIONABLE HONOR... ] I was just fine with the clothes I had anyway... I also never tried anything with buttons, I just never thought about it.
[ maybe he did, but he didn't put on the priority list?
ugh. Hijikata, a man that needs to get with the times just like he did post-Toba... ]
Really? We're going to get all of that? [ this is going to be a long shopping trip then... ]
WHERES THE FUN IN THAT
You really need some variety.
[AND ALSO BUTTONS.]
We're getting all of that and probably more! If you don't have any of these things, you need at least one of each so you can start changing up your wardrobe. We can check out the shirts and pants, too.
[TIME FOR WESTERN PANTS, GRANDPA.]
PLEASE STAB RESPONSIBLY?
I mean, I've been fine until now.
[ until some of his clothes got ruined... he's totally been running out of things to wear so that's definitely a reason why he hasn't really disagreed to a change in wardrobe. ]
I... [ . . . it can't be that bad, right? ]
Okay, fine. What are we starting with first.
says the candlewax commander
You probably only think you've been fine 'cause that's the kind of stubborn guy you are. But we're fixing all of that now! First, we'll start with tops since they're easier to get on. [Already implying he doesn't think Hijikata will be able to put on his own pants...]
Let's go, let's go!
[AND AWAY... Kashuu nyooms through racks with expert precision, picking out fashionably baggy cardigans, cleanly cut vests and button-up shirts, those ridiculous poncho things that are in vogue, nicely tailored jackets... SO MANY THINGS. All in a variety of colors too, though he'll be mindful of Hijikata's preferences.]
HIJIKATA CANDLEWAXES RESPONSIBLY?
[ REALLY... HE REALLY WAS! o..kay no.
but why does Kashuu think Hijikata can't put on western clothes? Hijikata can do anything he wants if he believes. BUT... he'll follow him?!
but gosh, he's picking out a lot of things -- so fast too. you can definitely tell he's use to this. ]
Ah... That's a lot of stuff. [ internal screaming, probably. ]
i........ r u sure..
Either way, he totally ignores that first claim like the rudeass he is and just sort of merrily continues onward, picking out SO MANY THINGS until he has a towering pile of stuff.]
Eh, d'you think so? This is about how much I get in the first round.
[He has rounds...]
Anyway! Ready to try some on?
YES??? do you doubt me.. hand over heart :(
Implying... There's more to come?
[ what did he get himself into... ]
Well, I don't have a choice do I... So, let's get this over with. [ BEFORE ROUND 2, APPARENTLY. ]
OF COURSE
[Staring at Hijikata like duh. He went shopping with a shopaholic and turned over the keys to him, okay. That's what he got himself into. Literal hell.]
Here, here - Take these!
[Just SHOVING A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF OVER. It's basically all this kind of stuff honestly. Please at least be able to mix and match well, Hijikata...]
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
but first he just... looks around because Kashuu just shoved clothes into his hands and that's it? but he's not that dumb because he does see the dressing room sign!
soo he'll just go over there then lock a door behind him because well, he really wasn't prepared to get dressed right in the middle of the shop. OKAY LET'S SEE - TIME TO SIFT THROUGH THESE CLOTHES. ]
. . . . Well, hopefully this won't be that bad...
[ no, this will be because he's totally putting on this shirt and these pants!
and. . . it's time for the reveal, so he leaves the dressing room! HOW DID HE DO KASHUU? ]
why did sho do this to us
But oh man... WELL. There he goes, that Hijikata, about to get dressed in modern outfits on his own for the first time.
It's a mess.]
...Wow. We're really gonna have to start from square one, huh?
[Individually, these pieces aren't even that bad! Outlandish, but still stylish in that off the cuff way! Together, no.]
AAAAAAA I LAUGHED SO HARD KASHUU UR TIRED
Well... You just gave them to me without saying anything else..!
[ ugh... ugh...
he crosses his arms. ]
You pick something if you know all about this stuff then.
HE NEEDS A LONGASS NAP
AAA IM THE ONE THAT DESERVES A NAP
GO TAKE A NAP THEN U ELDERLY PERSON
I'mma make sure kashuu takes an eternal nap
wtf HE'S TRYING TO HELP
STOP!!!! OKITAGUMIS ARE LIL DEMONS AND GOTTA GO
STOP WHY DONT BE MEAN TO THE PURE BEANS
dam u ... makin those funny jokes again i see!!
UGH LOOK U slamdunks into the trash
slam dunks u back to ikedaya
this is why u get hakodated
YA GONNA GET IKEDAYA'D
WHY IS HIJIKATA EXHAUSTING