[ hijikata speaks of a life that tsurumaru hasn't known for a while — of living with smaller, disjointed groups of family, of traveling and selling, a relatively normal, simple, modest lifestyle that reminds him of his days with his clan. ]
Aah, so you weren't rich? [ but he doesn't say it in a condescending way — rather, he sounds curious, and if anything, a bit... enthusiastic, because he still has trouble with the whole "you're your own person" concept, and still thinks of himself as a sword first, prioritizing his own protection — which means, he views the wealthy with suspicion and tears apart everyone else until he can fish out their greedy, ulterior motives, too.
but hijikata doesn't seem to have any of those motives, and then he's not even rich, so... it's almost too good to be true?? +1 trust bond point... progress. ]
Then... we'll have to celebrate your birthday thirty-two more times, to make up for it — I hope you like being spoiled!
If you don't, you're going to have to get used to it, anyway.
[ he also wants to say or, we can celebrate your birthday every year from here on out, but that's like, tsuru's Ultra Mega Death Flag of unfulfilled promises. he doesn't like making promises into the future that he can't keep. ]
Even if we were well off, we'd still just be farmers. [ so... there's that. ] Although, it wasn't as if I was going to inherit anything since I was the youngest son.
[ out of like, six sons even. he sort of had a big family. ]
But I wanted to be a solider so that gave me a reason to leave often and go to many Dojos as well; since I liked wielding swords as well. So I don't regret not being around much.
[ his life may look useless, especially in the 'I wasn't as use to my family's business' aspect, but he never thought of himself as a useless person. so he definitely doesn't regret what he did.
but lord, thirty-two birthdays. he doesn't know if he can keep up. ]
Ah, well... You don't have to. The time being spent together is good enough, isn't it? [ what are gifts, what is being spoiled? this isn't in his vocabulary. ]
That badly, huh? You know, back in my time, you could've been executed for that.
[ for trying to live the life of a samurai, tsurumaru means, despite being from a different type of family. he glances down, fingertips pressed together — and there's a brief moment of hesitation, before he speaks again. ]
If you love wielding swords so much, then... I'm glad you were born later — even if it was into a time that I don't remember much about.
[ —which is actually a huge compliment coming from tsurumaru — who, for the most part, cares very little about what makes humans happy, and it wouldn't be incorrect to say that he does revel in their misfortune, too. in other words, he's making a rare exception from his usual bitter self, and he's not going to repeat himself! huff!
but yes, thirty-two whole birthdays! or thirty-two presents. or both. he gives hijikata a shake of his head, though, because that request is too simple, yet too difficult for him to dream of filling. time is a vague thing! ]
No, no — that won't do! Time is okay, but isn't time and gifts even better? You can't say no to more, right?
[ yikes. that sounds pretty bad, doesn't it? he takes a bite of the cake again and chews it thoughtfully. ]
I'll never be a samurai though. It's true, but some say it's hopeless, or I'm trying too hard but just makes me want to work even harder. [ still as stubborn as ever! but if he didn't try hard he wouldn't have gotten to where he is now, right? so there's that.
but wow! was that a compliment? Hijikata may be pretty surprised, but he only gives a tiny smile to show his appreciation but it disappears fairly quickly because he isn't one to smile much in the first place. ]
I'm glad too, I wouldn't want to be executed now, would I? [ half being sarcastic and joking here? although, it's thinking about it... he wouldn't know what to do if he was born into a time where being a samurai was impossible. he worked too damn hard! ]
Geez, you're really insistent on this thought, aren't you? [ Tsuru once again proves he's just a stubborn child... ] I guess... Maybe, I don't know. It's still kind of weird.
[ being spoiled, that is. ]
NO THEN WE HAVE TO FIND HIM and make sure he's ok??
You're a human that takes — [ palms upturned, hands angled towards the left. ] — pointy things and — [ towards the right. ] — stabs people, and most of all, you even live by a — [ wiggly noodle fingers. ] — rigid samurai code.
[ seriously, though— ] I may speak about it lightly, but the clan that I loved was a samurai clan. It's been a while, but I remember the beliefs that they lived by and upheld. I don't trust a lot of people, but I know that samurai treat their swords kindly... for the most part. [ but even that's pretty conditional...
anyway, tsurumaru makes a face, like no matter what hiji does, he can't shake him off! that kind of determined face. ]
I am. [ he may be a stubborn child, but he has his rare moments of wisdom, just... not right now. so he reaches forward, his hand resting on the edge of the bed, because he's also five and reaching for his hand takes the courage that he doesn't have. ]
You know, I'm not too good with gifts — I just assume that expensive things are better, so I just bring a bunch of them. But, you can hardly blame me, right?
If you want something else instead of material items, except time — [ because hiji's already getting that! tsuru's looking for the blank in hijikata's ideal equation of "time + ____". ] — you should tell me.
MAYBE ILL SEE HIM TOMORROW who knows... cafeteria dude is an enigma
We're not like the Ronins that didn't have a code and only used their swords to steal from everyone, causing a mess.
[ if anything, people like that don't even deserve to wield a sword. ]
Can't say I am either.
[ because, well... gift giving wasn't his thing? though, he bought sweets for Kondou a few times. A FEW TIMES. SPECIAL OCCASIONS! Hijikata still doesn't fully support his sweets-addiction because he even skip meetings just to go buy some! the worst. ]
Hm... As long as you can tell there was genuine thought put into the gift, I think that's good enough.
But - I'll think about.
[ after another bite of the cake, he puts down the plate and reaches for that hair accessory. when you get a new gift it's only natural to try it out! yes...
at first, he spends a few moments inspecting it since Hijikata isn't really one to wear things to look so... expensive? he doesn't put it on yet (still thinking where to put it maybe) because he speaks up again. ]
Actually. [ a pause, his eyes flicker towards his desk... then the window... ] I think I at least want to go outside.
[ he's not implying right now, but lord... he's already antsy staying in bed and he misses taking his walks to his jobs... then to the dojo... also looking at the spring cherry blossoms at the playground! ugh, being in bed is BORING! ]
please find him if hes gone im coming to hunt him down
[ he'll watch hijikata fiddle with the clip accessory for a bit, but decides that he needs some help! gently, he reaches for strands of his hair, combing them out evenly with his fingers, working out the loose knots with gentle prodding — and then he neatly secures the clip in place, pinning up some of his hair up out of his face. ]
This was super expensive, buuuut if I tell you how much it cost me, you'd make me return it — which would make me really sad, so! I'll never tell you.
[ like... if he comes forth and says 2 billion credits... neither he nor hijikata will ever see the hair clip again?
but tsurumaru, too, will follow his gaze, looking towards the desk of paperwork... and then towards the open window. ]
That one's obvious, isn't it? When you're better, you can go outside — but not until then, and if you just worsen your condition by trying to work while I'm not watching, then it'll take even longer.
[ honestly....! how many times has he seen hijikata try to drag himself to his desk... and since tsurumaru's managed to impress even himself with how mature he just sounded, he looks away a bit, his hand pressed against his mouth, because wow.... embarrassing!! ]
Geez, you're making me say something responsible, like an adult... That's really not my style, you know.
[ not that he's really complaining or anything! it probably looks nice on him? Hijikata is really confident in his looks anyway so it's not as if he's self conscious by some overly expensive hair accessory, which is why he doesn't ask how it looks.
but then... once again... you know, farmer family in all. they didn't do anything that's on the expensive side.
he was hoping for a yes! but no, dreams are crushed... he only lets out a dissatisfied huff. ]
I'm getting better though. [ sort of? it hasn't been that long, but when you're sitting in bed almost all day it feels like forever basically. ]
Sitting around and doing nothing feels very ... [ boring. but he doesn't want to say that! ] Counterproductive... At least.
[ he knows he should be more responsible about this, but this is almost killing him on the inside. he has a point though - he really does! he's acting like the child now, isn't he? so he sighs. ] But... You're right.
[ listen... tsuru wears expensive things, and if he pays for the expensive things, will hijikata slowly learn to wear them?
but tsurumaru will laugh a little, because that answer sounds very human, and it's those things that amuse him. ]
I mean, if you want — we could get you one of those tables that let you work in bed...
[ when will kashuu bring that over, really!! but a week does sound... reasonable for now, and while he'll give him a slow nod, he makes no promises! if his leg isn't completely better in a week, back to bed he goes. ]
A week's fine with me, as long as you can actually kind of walk on your own, by then. [ no more using izuminokami...
anyway, because tsurumaru is so very kind with no secret motives: ] Tell me your favorite color, so that I can write good luck!
That'd be better... When I'm awake and can't do much it gets kind of unbearable just sitting around.
[ although, Tsurumaru already got him a ton of stuff?! he doesn't want anything more... he did enough. he did enough! when will he stop being spoiled, it actually is kind of weird (but he won't complain... he often does tell Tsurumaru to take responsibility when stuff like this happens). ]
I'm getting better at using ... Whatever you got me... Lately. I can walk just fine, I'm sure. Don't underestimate me now just because I'm injured.
[ commercially produced crutches weren't a thing when Hijikata was around! he'd just kind of use his sword in a pinch? a walking stick? you know, that kind of easy stuff.
he thinks about it... and just gives Tsurumaru a look, but okay... okay. it's an easy answer, since it is kind of obvious. ]
I'll get you one, then! It's not too expensive, so don't worry.
[ that's a pretty vague description, but... they're really common in asian homes?? hijikata's probably seen one before! like those square, low tales, usually made out of dark wood. he'll find the best quality one, and dump another good helping of mikazuki's credits on it.
geez... this is a crutch! the words of the new age! he smiles briskly, with a knowing nod. ] Yes, yes, because you can shake your crutch at me from your bed, and if I'm really lucky, you can throw it at me and I'll never give it back, and you'll be stuck forever.
[ why are you giving him that look? he'll do no wrong? (that's a lie...) he proceeds to pull the red marker out of the box, uncapping it to write "get better soon!" very slowly, because he's striving for neatness here and we all know tsuru's horrible handwriting when he doesn't try....
but he's not done! no!!! and then he draws a peculiar-looking image towards the end of the cast, where hijikata can't really reach, and once he's finished his artistic rendition, he sits back, looking a bit too triumphant, like the kind of face that lets you know he just got away with something. ]
Don't take it away from me. [ geez! ] I've been resting a lot lately, give me some credit.
[ well... mostly. how many times has Hijikata crawled to his desk while Tsurumaru was out? it happened a few times... just a few. he just wanted to get some work done! that's all!
he watches Tsurumaru write it... he'll even say ooone thing just because it's been on his mind ever since he got [low voice] the urinal card. ]
You know, if you ever need to learn how to write neatly I can teach you.
[ having terrible writing is utterly embarrassing! it gives Hijikata second hand embarrassment?
but then there's that grin on Tsuru's face, and Hijikata furrows his eyebrows. ]
[ well, he's noticed that sometimes, when he returns, the papers are shuffled in a different way, or that something over here is now over there... hmm! teaching tsuru how to write properly, though — that's a joke, really! he even laughs a little, as if hijikata had said something intentionally funny. ]
You can try, but ask Mikazuki for the horror stories. The Sanjous tried to teach me to write neatly when I was little, but I just dipped my toes in ink and ran all over the paper... No matter what they did, they couldn't teach me.
[ poor ishipapa probably had a heart attack, if swords can have heart attacks... yet, he's reciting all of this with a smug kind of expression on his face! he has absolutely no shame in playing finger-painting with really expensive ink.
anyway, since it seems that hijikata knows what's up!!! he puffs up even more brightly. ]
I drew you a beautiful illustration. Look!
[ can hijikata look, though... can he, without breaking his back... ]
[ he can do anything. maybe. ] Because it'd be really embarrassing if you had to write a letter to someone and it's just scribbles. Seriously... I never want Souji to write me a letter ever again... ... ...
[ his handwriting is like a nightmare. of course, Hijikata is half joking because if Souji went out of his way to write him a letter that's great! but lord. his handwriting.
but then he sighs. he can't see what Tsurumaru drew - which brings him to a conclusion: ]
Did you put it in that exact spot on purpose? [ he's onto you. ]
all of those lesser thans and greater thans won't save u
[ hijikata is so brave... but the thought of enduring boring writing classes is so dreadful, that maybe this isn't a good thing? he puffs his cheeks, frowning — ]
If I had to write a letter to someone here, I'd just send it electronically. [ SAVES HIM THE EFFORT OF WRITING TBH...
he's looking super triumphant, too, as if he'd just said something smart.
but damn... hijikata's caught on, and he makes a face like :3c. ]
Maaaaybe. Here, I'll take a picture of it and show you that way. That works, right?
[ and he whips out his handy dandy cerevice, taking a crisp picture of his doodle in HD... soon, there's a small ping noise coming from hijikata's own cerevice!!
because he doesn't trust hiji to not punch tsuru's beloved cerevice after looking at the picture... ]
It's still good to have nice penmanship. Think of the 'what ifs'. [ what if he had to write a letter! write anything... but true, electronically works but come on...Hijikata is still old fashion in several ways.
but okay... he waits? lord, is it going to be something bad - he doesn't know if he can trust Tsuru to be mature... no, why does he still think that? he can never trust him to be mature.
then he checks it - The CereVice.
you can tell he sees it...there's almost a flash of horror on his face because what in hell's name is this monstrosity Tsuru has drawn... then ... he basically throws the Cerevice at Tsuru? not trying to hurt him, but geez! ]
[ he doesn't see any what ifs!! plus, tsurumaru gets too bored too quickly for paperwork jobs. if he has to sit down and write all day, he'd go insane.
he sees that horrified expression!!! and while he'd make some kind of snide remark... there's something hurled towards him? tsukumogami reflexes are pretty good, so tsurumaru holds out his hands in time, catching the device securely. it also causes his palms to sting a little, but just like hijikata's leg, his own injuries are almost finished healing by now, too. almost.
looking down at it, to check what it is, and: oh, it's just his cerevice. if it's not locked, tsuru will flip through it in a minute or two.
back to that question, though. at first, tsurumaru hesitates a little, making various hmm noises, like a child that can't say the number 69 without laughing. but in the end, he can't just not tell hijikata... so here goes! ]
Look, you heard me the first time! [ he'll have no more pride left...
but "give that back" directly translates into not giving it back, so he sits at the other end of the room, sticking his tongue out.
so tsurumaru flips through his texts, which aren't too interesting — he sees things that the various okitas have sent, and —
— well. that's a curious-looking picture of hijikata's hair in an unfortunate situation, isn't it?
at first, his face kind of goes pale, actually, because that's just hair murder... but it doesn't take long for him to just burst into laughter, setting the phone back down on the floor to hold his sides. ]
Hijikata.... What's — your hair... [ HE'S TRYING TO BREATHE. ] It's in the...?
[ he narrows his eyes at Tsurumaru... no he... sort of heard him, but sort of not? but also he was just so completely baffled that maybe he doesn't want to hear him? ]
Hey - where do you think you're going now?
[ UGH TSURU! NO! this is annoying! he can't even stand up... no... this is the worst. HE WANTS HIS CEREVICE BACK! he can see Tsurumaru start flipping through it and he braces himself for the worst.
or not. because he's more embarrassed than he wanted to be... first he just lets out an indignant huff, trying to hide it... but no, it doesn't work? so he has to cover the bottom half of his face with his palm because maybe, just maybe, there's a slight darker tint on his cheeks!? he's embarrassed.
of course, it doesn't last long because he is kind of use to the teasing, and he has to recompose himself before he can try to STOP TSURU. so he finally lowers his hand back down and says this in the most stern voice... as stern as possible, as intimidating as possible from a man that's stuck in bed. ]
Don't even say one more word or I'll cut your tongue off. I told you to give it back, Kuninaga. [ ah yes... the stern I'm going to call you by the name I never call you so you KNOW you're in trouble trick... (which... works for Kashuu but he isn't sure about Tsurumaru?) ]
Where else would I go? You threw it at me! If I hadn't caught it, you'd have broken it — so I'm treating myself to my own reward.
[ it was going to hit him!! but sadly, the last name trick won't work on him — not on tsurumaru kuninaga, crane complex extraordinaire. if anything, he's kind of offended that hijikata chopped off his first name? the 'tsuru' part of his name? this is not acceptable?? ]
Ooh... you shouldn't cut my smith's tongue off, you know! He's pretty old by now, though, so I don't think he has a tongue left to cut off anymore. Ahaha, and if you dug him up to do just that, I'd be really offended, too.
[ of course, he's quite aware that it's himself that's being addressed, but when five-year-olds get upset, this is what they do... they rebel by not listening. so he looks back down at the screen, tapping quickly at the screen again, sending himself the toilet picture and deleting evidence from hijikata's outbox. nice!
then, he gets back up to sit near him again, but he's still holding hijikata's cerevice behind his back. he's also pressing his lips together to not laugh, but it's obvious that he's still not entirely over it yet, because the corners of his lips keep twitching, in the way that they do when you're trying really hard not to laugh!! ]
I dare you to make me. Mikazuki taught me that if you want something back, you should say please. You can do that, can't you?
[ fuck... fuck! that's right... these swords are too complicated. of course, Tsurumaru can twist Hijikata's words so easily like that. that rascal. but Hijikata dropped his cerevice in a puddle before... they're pretty strong? ]
You know exactly who I meant.
[ huff. geez!
but Hijikata's giving Tsurumaru a preeeetty grumpy look! he just wants his phone back... what the heck. ]
You should apologize first for laughing at me.
[ ah yes, here comes the stubbornness. two can play it at this game...! ]
[ like owner, like cerevice; first, hijikata drops it into a puddle, and then he drops his hair into the toilet? what a coincidence!
but that grumpy look is only met by this really curious look, eyebrows raised, and tsurumaru even tilts his head to the side, because he mostly sees this request as a sort of maneuver from hijikata to overtake him!!
and he refuses to allow that, so he holds up the phone in the air. ]
Then you're never getting this back! I'm going to send embarrassing poetry to all of your contacts, just watch me.
[ he's not actually going to, though... probably. ]
see, Hijikata does indeed have manners, but... Tsuru just humiliated him, and wants him to say please now? no! he won't! that means he'll just be giving in and giving Tsuru what he wants... Hijikata is suppose to be the one in charge here.
he won't give Tsuru the gratification of him saying 'please' just yet... or never.
also holding it up in the air like that is just MOCKING him! that makes him want to say please even less!? there's only a scoff that comes from him. ]
You wouldn't if you know what's good for you.
I said to give it back. It isn't yours - you wouldn't do this if I wasn't injured. [ because surely... Hijikata would have his own way if he wasn't... he would. ]
ok then where are you gonna pee... in a dirt hole??
[ listen... he lives to provoke people like this? especially stiff, rigid people who are just so easily provokable. and while he's pretty sure that hijikata isn't going to listen to him since he's, well, hijikata, it's fun for tsuru to try anyway.
but he pauses then, slowly glancing at hijikata with this solemn look, even though he still sounds cheerful. ]
Oh, I definitely would. Because — you'd probably go so far as to kill me for your Cerevice back, wouldn't you?
But you can't do that for me when you're like this... it's a pity, really.
[ so he shrugs a little, before tossing the cerevice back towards hijikata. ] Here — I didn't do anything else other than look through your texts, but who knows? I might've changed your ringtone to a blaring alarm that wakes you in the middle of the night!
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hijiwanwan) wrote2015-09-14 12:06 am
i hope you see him again tomorrow but he's feeling better
Aah, so you weren't rich? [ but he doesn't say it in a condescending way — rather, he sounds curious, and if anything, a bit... enthusiastic, because he still has trouble with the whole "you're your own person" concept, and still thinks of himself as a sword first, prioritizing his own protection — which means, he views the wealthy with suspicion and tears apart everyone else until he can fish out their greedy, ulterior motives, too.
but hijikata doesn't seem to have any of those motives, and then he's not even rich, so... it's almost too good to be true?? +1 trust bond point... progress. ]
Then... we'll have to celebrate your birthday thirty-two more times, to make up for it — I hope you like being spoiled!
If you don't, you're going to have to get used to it, anyway.
[ he also wants to say or, we can celebrate your birthday every year from here on out, but that's like, tsuru's Ultra Mega Death Flag of unfulfilled promises. he doesn't like making promises into the future that he can't keep. ]
ugh he needs to stop coming to work sick
[ out of like, six sons even. he sort of had a big family. ]
But I wanted to be a solider so that gave me a reason to leave often and go to many Dojos as well; since I liked wielding swords as well. So I don't regret not being around much.
[ his life may look useless, especially in the 'I wasn't as use to my family's business' aspect, but he never thought of himself as a useless person. so he definitely doesn't regret what he did.
but lord, thirty-two birthdays. he doesn't know if he can keep up. ]
Ah, well... You don't have to. The time being spent together is good enough, isn't it? [ what are gifts, what is being spoiled? this isn't in his vocabulary. ]
did he come to work sick today too
[ for trying to live the life of a samurai, tsurumaru means, despite being from a different type of family. he glances down, fingertips pressed together — and there's a brief moment of hesitation, before he speaks again. ]
If you love wielding swords so much, then... I'm glad you were born later — even if it was into a time that I don't remember much about.
[ —which is actually a huge compliment coming from tsurumaru — who, for the most part, cares very little about what makes humans happy, and it wouldn't be incorrect to say that he does revel in their misfortune, too. in other words, he's making a rare exception from his usual bitter self, and he's not going to repeat himself! huff!
but yes, thirty-two whole birthdays! or thirty-two presents. or both. he gives hijikata a shake of his head, though, because that request is too simple, yet too difficult for him to dream of filling. time is a vague thing! ]
No, no — that won't do! Time is okay, but isn't time and gifts even better? You can't say no to more, right?
ugh i didnt see him what if he got fired
I'll never be a samurai though. It's true, but some say it's hopeless, or I'm trying too hard but just makes me want to work even harder. [ still as stubborn as ever! but if he didn't try hard he wouldn't have gotten to where he is now, right? so there's that.
but wow! was that a compliment? Hijikata may be pretty surprised, but he only gives a tiny smile to show his appreciation but it disappears fairly quickly because he isn't one to smile much in the first place. ]
I'm glad too, I wouldn't want to be executed now, would I? [ half being sarcastic and joking here? although, it's thinking about it... he wouldn't know what to do if he was born into a time where being a samurai was impossible. he worked too damn hard! ]
Geez, you're really insistent on this thought, aren't you? [ Tsuru once again proves he's just a stubborn child... ] I guess... Maybe, I don't know. It's still kind of weird.
[ being spoiled, that is. ]
NO THEN WE HAVE TO FIND HIM and make sure he's ok??
[ seriously, though— ] I may speak about it lightly, but the clan that I loved was a samurai clan. It's been a while, but I remember the beliefs that they lived by and upheld. I don't trust a lot of people, but I know that samurai treat their swords kindly... for the most part. [ but even that's pretty conditional...
anyway, tsurumaru makes a face, like no matter what hiji does, he can't shake him off! that kind of determined face. ]
I am. [ he may be a stubborn child, but he has his rare moments of wisdom, just... not right now. so he reaches forward, his hand resting on the edge of the bed, because he's also five and reaching for his hand takes the courage that he doesn't have. ]
You know, I'm not too good with gifts — I just assume that expensive things are better, so I just bring a bunch of them. But, you can hardly blame me, right?
If you want something else instead of material items, except time — [ because hiji's already getting that! tsuru's looking for the blank in hijikata's ideal equation of "time + ____". ] — you should tell me.
MAYBE ILL SEE HIM TOMORROW who knows... cafeteria dude is an enigma
We're not like the Ronins that didn't have a code and only used their swords to steal from everyone, causing a mess.
[ if anything, people like that don't even deserve to wield a sword. ]
Can't say I am either.
[ because, well... gift giving wasn't his thing? though, he bought sweets for Kondou a few times. A FEW TIMES. SPECIAL OCCASIONS! Hijikata still doesn't fully support his sweets-addiction because he even skip meetings just to go buy some! the worst. ]
Hm... As long as you can tell there was genuine thought put into the gift, I think that's good enough.
But - I'll think about.
[ after another bite of the cake, he puts down the plate and reaches for that hair accessory. when you get a new gift it's only natural to try it out! yes...
at first, he spends a few moments inspecting it since Hijikata isn't really one to wear things to look so... expensive? he doesn't put it on yet (still thinking where to put it maybe) because he speaks up again. ]
Actually. [ a pause, his eyes flicker towards his desk... then the window... ] I think I at least want to go outside.
[ he's not implying right now, but lord... he's already antsy staying in bed and he misses taking his walks to his jobs... then to the dojo... also looking at the spring cherry blossoms at the playground! ugh, being in bed is BORING! ]
please find him if hes gone im coming to hunt him down
This was super expensive, buuuut if I tell you how much it cost me, you'd make me return it — which would make me really sad, so! I'll never tell you.
[ like... if he comes forth and says 2 billion credits... neither he nor hijikata will ever see the hair clip again?
but tsurumaru, too, will follow his gaze, looking towards the desk of paperwork... and then towards the open window. ]
That one's obvious, isn't it? When you're better, you can go outside — but not until then, and if you just worsen your condition by trying to work while I'm not watching, then it'll take even longer.
[ honestly....! how many times has he seen hijikata try to drag himself to his desk... and since tsurumaru's managed to impress even himself with how mature he just sounded, he looks away a bit, his hand pressed against his mouth, because wow.... embarrassing!! ]
Geez, you're making me say something responsible, like an adult... That's really not my style, you know.
UGH I SAW HIM hes doing ok
[ not that he's really complaining or anything! it probably looks nice on him? Hijikata is really confident in his looks anyway so it's not as if he's self conscious by some overly expensive hair accessory, which is why he doesn't ask how it looks.
but then... once again... you know, farmer family in all. they didn't do anything that's on the expensive side.
he was hoping for a yes! but no, dreams are crushed... he only lets out a dissatisfied huff. ]
I'm getting better though. [ sort of? it hasn't been that long, but when you're sitting in bed almost all day it feels like forever basically. ]
Sitting around and doing nothing feels very ... [ boring. but he doesn't want to say that! ] Counterproductive... At least.
[ he knows he should be more responsible about this, but this is almost killing him on the inside. he has a point though - he really does! he's acting like the child now, isn't he? so he sighs. ] But... You're right.
[ ... ... ... ] How about in a week?
IM GLAD wipes tear is he working today
but tsurumaru will laugh a little, because that answer sounds very human, and it's those things that amuse him. ]
I mean, if you want — we could get you one of those tables that let you work in bed...
[ when will kashuu bring that over, really!! but a week does sound... reasonable for now, and while he'll give him a slow nod, he makes no promises! if his leg isn't completely better in a week, back to bed he goes. ]
A week's fine with me, as long as you can actually kind of walk on your own, by then. [ no more using izuminokami...
anyway, because tsurumaru is so very kind with no secret motives: ] Tell me your favorite color, so that I can write good luck!
UGH TSURU I sWEAR TO GOD,
[ although, Tsurumaru already got him a ton of stuff?! he doesn't want anything more... he did enough. he did enough! when will he stop being spoiled, it actually is kind of weird (but he won't complain... he often does tell Tsurumaru to take responsibility when stuff like this happens). ]
I'm getting better at using ... Whatever you got me... Lately. I can walk just fine, I'm sure. Don't underestimate me now just because I'm injured.
[ commercially produced crutches weren't a thing when Hijikata was around! he'd just kind of use his sword in a pinch? a walking stick? you know, that kind of easy stuff.
he thinks about it... and just gives Tsurumaru a look, but okay... okay. it's an easy answer, since it is kind of obvious. ]
Hmmm... Red, I guess.
AAAA DICKBUTT TIME
[ that's a pretty vague description, but... they're really common in asian homes?? hijikata's probably seen one before! like those square, low tales, usually made out of dark wood. he'll find the best quality one, and dump another good helping of mikazuki's credits on it.
geez... this is a crutch! the words of the new age! he smiles briskly, with a knowing nod. ] Yes, yes, because you can shake your crutch at me from your bed, and if I'm really lucky, you can throw it at me and I'll never give it back, and you'll be stuck forever.
[ why are you giving him that look? he'll do no wrong? (that's a lie...) he proceeds to pull the red marker out of the box, uncapping it to write "get better soon!" very slowly, because he's striving for neatness here and we all know tsuru's horrible handwriting when he doesn't try....
but he's not done! no!!! and then he draws a peculiar-looking image towards the end of the cast, where hijikata can't really reach, and once he's finished his artistic rendition, he sits back, looking a bit too triumphant, like the kind of face that lets you know he just got away with something. ]
u r The Worst
[ well... mostly. how many times has Hijikata crawled to his desk while Tsurumaru was out? it happened a few times... just a few. he just wanted to get some work done! that's all!
he watches Tsurumaru write it... he'll even say ooone thing just because it's been on his mind ever since he got [low voice] the urinal card. ]
You know, if you ever need to learn how to write neatly I can teach you.
[ having terrible writing is utterly embarrassing! it gives Hijikata second hand embarrassment?
but then there's that grin on Tsuru's face, and Hijikata furrows his eyebrows. ]
What did you do now?
[ he knows somethin' is up!!! HE KNOWS! ]
uhmmmm why r u talking about urself
You can try, but ask Mikazuki for the horror stories. The Sanjous tried to teach me to write neatly when I was little, but I just dipped my toes in ink and ran all over the paper... No matter what they did, they couldn't teach me.
[ poor ishipapa probably had a heart attack, if swords can have heart attacks... yet, he's reciting all of this with a smug kind of expression on his face! he has absolutely no shame in playing finger-painting with really expensive ink.
anyway, since it seems that hijikata knows what's up!!! he puffs up even more brightly. ]
I drew you a beautiful illustration. Look!
[ can hijikata look, though... can he, without breaking his back... ]
> _> < _ < < < << > >> < uhm im not < < < < ___<
Hmm... I think I can do it.
[ he can do anything. maybe. ] Because it'd be really embarrassing if you had to write a letter to someone and it's just scribbles. Seriously... I never want Souji to write me a letter ever again... ... ...
[ his handwriting is like a nightmare. of course, Hijikata is half joking because if Souji went out of his way to write him a letter that's great! but lord. his handwriting.
but then he sighs. he can't see what Tsurumaru drew - which brings him to a conclusion: ]
Did you put it in that exact spot on purpose? [ he's onto you. ]
all of those lesser thans and greater thans won't save u
If I had to write a letter to someone here, I'd just send it electronically. [ SAVES HIM THE EFFORT OF WRITING TBH...
he's looking super triumphant, too, as if he'd just said something smart.
but damn... hijikata's caught on, and he makes a face like :3c. ]
Maaaaybe. Here, I'll take a picture of it and show you that way. That works, right?
[ and he whips out his handy dandy cerevice, taking a crisp picture of his doodle in HD... soon, there's a small ping noise coming from hijikata's own cerevice!!
because he doesn't trust hiji to not punch tsuru's beloved cerevice after looking at the picture... ]
>>>>>>>>>>>>>:(
It's still good to have nice penmanship. Think of the 'what ifs'. [ what if he had to write a letter! write anything... but true, electronically works but come on...Hijikata is still old fashion in several ways.
but okay... he waits? lord, is it going to be something bad - he doesn't know if he can trust Tsuru to be mature... no, why does he still think that? he can never trust him to be mature.
then he checks it - The CereVice.
you can tell he sees it...there's almost a flash of horror on his face because what in hell's name is this monstrosity Tsuru has drawn... then ... he basically throws the Cerevice at Tsuru? not trying to hurt him, but geez! ]
What the hell is that?
AAAAAAA smooths out your forehead no wrinkles
he sees that horrified expression!!! and while he'd make some kind of snide remark... there's something hurled towards him? tsukumogami reflexes are pretty good, so tsurumaru holds out his hands in time, catching the device securely. it also causes his palms to sting a little, but just like hijikata's leg, his own injuries are almost finished healing by now, too. almost.
looking down at it, to check what it is, and: oh, it's just his cerevice. if it's not locked, tsuru will flip through it in a minute or two.
back to that question, though. at first, tsurumaru hesitates a little, making various hmm noises, like a child that can't say the number 69 without laughing. but in the end, he can't just not tell hijikata... so here goes! ]
It's a.................................. dickbutt.
[ UGH. ] Didn't I draw it really well? You got a good look at it, right?
>>>>>>>>>>>>>:( x10
A... ... ... What...
[ ??? ??? ??? ??? ???
then he holds out his hand towards Tsuru... ] Give that back.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>:) x 100
but "give that back" directly translates into not giving it back, so he sits at the other end of the room, sticking his tongue out.
so tsurumaru flips through his texts, which aren't too interesting — he sees things that the various okitas have sent, and —
— well. that's a curious-looking picture of hijikata's hair in an unfortunate situation, isn't it?
at first, his face kind of goes pale, actually, because that's just hair murder... but it doesn't take long for him to just burst into laughter, setting the phone back down on the floor to hold his sides. ]
Hijikata.... What's — your hair... [ HE'S TRYING TO BREATHE. ] It's in the...?
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Hey - where do you think you're going now?
[ UGH TSURU! NO! this is annoying! he can't even stand up... no... this is the worst. HE WANTS HIS CEREVICE BACK! he can see Tsurumaru start flipping through it and he braces himself for the worst.
or not. because he's more embarrassed than he wanted to be... first he just lets out an indignant huff, trying to hide it... but no, it doesn't work? so he has to cover the bottom half of his face with his palm because maybe, just maybe, there's a slight darker tint on his cheeks!? he's embarrassed.
of course, it doesn't last long because he is kind of use to the teasing, and he has to recompose himself before he can try to STOP TSURU. so he finally lowers his hand back down and says this in the most stern voice... as stern as possible, as intimidating as possible from a man that's stuck in bed. ]
Don't even say one more word or I'll cut your tongue off. I told you to give it back, Kuninaga. [ ah yes... the stern I'm going to call you by the name I never call you so you KNOW you're in trouble trick... (which... works for Kashuu but he isn't sure about Tsurumaru?) ]
AAAAAAAA ITS IN THE TOILET
[ it was going to hit him!! but sadly, the last name trick won't work on him — not on tsurumaru kuninaga, crane complex extraordinaire. if anything, he's kind of offended that hijikata chopped off his first name? the 'tsuru' part of his name? this is not acceptable?? ]
Ooh... you shouldn't cut my smith's tongue off, you know! He's pretty old by now, though, so I don't think he has a tongue left to cut off anymore. Ahaha, and if you dug him up to do just that, I'd be really offended, too.
[ of course, he's quite aware that it's himself that's being addressed, but when five-year-olds get upset, this is what they do... they rebel by not listening. so he looks back down at the screen, tapping quickly at the screen again, sending himself the toilet picture and deleting evidence from hijikata's outbox. nice!
then, he gets back up to sit near him again, but he's still holding hijikata's cerevice behind his back. he's also pressing his lips together to not laugh, but it's obvious that he's still not entirely over it yet, because the corners of his lips keep twitching, in the way that they do when you're trying really hard not to laugh!! ]
I dare you to make me. Mikazuki taught me that if you want something back, you should say please. You can do that, can't you?
LEAVE THE TOILET OLONE
You know exactly who I meant.
[ huff. geez!
but Hijikata's giving Tsurumaru a preeeetty grumpy look! he just wants his phone back... what the heck. ]
You should apologize first for laughing at me.
[ ah yes, here comes the stubbornness. two can play it at this game...! ]
NO.... U LEAVE IT ALONE FIRST
but that grumpy look is only met by this really curious look, eyebrows raised, and tsurumaru even tilts his head to the side, because he mostly sees this request as a sort of maneuver from hijikata to overtake him!!
and he refuses to allow that, so he holds up the phone in the air. ]
Then you're never getting this back! I'm going to send embarrassing poetry to all of your contacts, just watch me.
[ he's not actually going to, though... probably. ]
destroys the toilet
see, Hijikata does indeed have manners, but... Tsuru just humiliated him, and wants him to say please now? no! he won't! that means he'll just be giving in and giving Tsuru what he wants... Hijikata is suppose to be the one in charge here.
he won't give Tsuru the gratification of him saying 'please' just yet... or never.
also holding it up in the air like that is just MOCKING him! that makes him want to say please even less!? there's only a scoff that comes from him. ]
You wouldn't if you know what's good for you.
I said to give it back. It isn't yours - you wouldn't do this if I wasn't injured. [ because surely... Hijikata would have his own way if he wasn't... he would. ]
ok then where are you gonna pee... in a dirt hole??
but he pauses then, slowly glancing at hijikata with this solemn look, even though he still sounds cheerful. ]
Oh, I definitely would. Because — you'd probably go so far as to kill me for your Cerevice back, wouldn't you?
But you can't do that for me when you're like this... it's a pity, really.
[ so he shrugs a little, before tossing the cerevice back towards hijikata. ] Here — I didn't do anything else other than look through your texts, but who knows? I might've changed your ringtone to a blaring alarm that wakes you in the middle of the night!
[ he didn't. ]
on second thought, maybe the toilet stays
it'll stay to terrorize your hair for the rest of your life
destroys it again
STOP HAVE FUN PEEING IN THE GROUND
AAA STOP THIS
back in MY day we peed in holes in the dirt
stop talking like an old man thats my job,
hush child i'm 952 you're only 181
im mentally like 1000 ok
that doesnt mean you know the dirt holes of the 13th century :/
if theres one thing i dont want its where-to-pee knowledge
then what knowledge Do you want
something that isnt related to dirt holes?
like... the latest, hottest deals on lingerie?
ugh no panties
why are you saying no to panties
no...panties... unless ur gonna miss.... the panty raid
yes... the panty raid... hiji will look in his drawers and all his rope panties are gone
ugh leave the [komyu voice] ROPE UNDERWEAR alone
make me, i dare you :/ :\ :|
AAAAaaaa get ur own panties
i have rope too you stop this
keep ur own rope to urself
i'm not the one who ties rope around people's necks
im a vice captain i do what i want with my rope...
"i do what i want" - signed, hijikata
exactly!! no sassing the vice commander
sasses him anyway
*kills u*
:o :D >:D ???!?!?!?
STOP THIS
YOU STARTED IT
uhm no i didnt!
uhm yes you did!!
:o no i didnt :O
don't you :O me, i see through your lies
i dont lie :3c
you just did :/ :\
i have no idea what ur talking about :o :3
don't you :3 me, smacks the :3 off of ur face
no! >:3c
AAAAAAA puts tape on your :3 so that you're :|
but my :3 ?
no... no more :3, just :|
what about >:^3
puts your nose in my pocket, now you have no nose :O
komyu voice: im just a hole
alright pack your sleeping bags we're going to church
why nap in church when u can just nap at home
the purifying essences of church won't seep into you if you nap at home
i dont need church >:(
would a demon vice commander burst into flames in church...
probably... do u want to kill me gosh
well, no.... now we can nap on church's doorstep instead
ugh i dont wanna go to church
we're not going to church we're going to the doorstep and napping
NO CHURCH
WHY DO YOU DENY CHURCH
ugh because jesus will never accept me
ugh jesus accepts all though
even demons... ? :o
yes....... if there are fallen angels there can also be.....uh......... risen demons i guess
i can be ur devil or angel
u can be my......devangel
NOO I HATE THS
NO..... PORQUE NO LAS DOS
u gave me a notif while i was free iths is war now
fight me, war never ends
I WILL FIGHT??? im fighting right now
meet me in the pit and fight me with ur fists
but samurai fight with sord
then fite me with ur sord... one sord no horikawa
what do u have against hori,..
nothing...he's just smol against a tachi
hori can win if i cheer for him
is it because assassination in the darkness is his specialty
yes he can get u when you least expect it
and clearly we got him when he least expected it
tsuru is 5
stop if hes five ur like one (1/2)
(2/2)
wha t the fck
(no subject)
:-)
im gonna punch you
NO PUNCHING
punches u in the gut
WHAT DID I SAY ABT PUNCHIN
PUNCHES U IN THE MOUTH WITH MY....fist
>:( what did ij ust say,
you said hell yeah just sock me where it hurts >:)
i./ you're grounded.
ground me all u want u don't have leggies :P
uhm i have one leg and thats enough to kick an ass
leans across desk seductively kick my ass with that leg
STOP
make me :/ :\