[STOP HE DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS FACE. Or this personality... He's TIRED.
When will Hijikata boost his ego though okay, ugh, he's waiting.]
It totally is, though! I mean, if we're gonna be associated with each other even a little, you gotta look your very best. [Not that he's still in the Shinsengumi or anything!! He's not part of you ragtag hooligans anymore...!
But what the heck--]
You're weird! [A snappy retort, good work Kashuu.] Duh, why would I do things like this if I didn't think they were fun?
ANYWAY he's just pausing once they get to the Shopping District Proper, glancing around at all of the stores that he likes... on this street. Look, he does a lot of shopping and he has a lot of favorites.]
Mmm... Ooh! There, let's go there first! [Gesturing toward a shop with VERY LARGE WINDOWS... And fancy lighting inside that can be seen from the street... Clearly this place is gonna cost the bux.]
[ and Hijikata just... looks at the shop... at Kashuu. at the shop ONE MORE TIME. then finally back at Kashuu once and for all.
he looks... semi-concerned. ]
You... Go here?
[ it looks too fancy and Hijikata is now wondering how much this will burn through his wallet. thankfully, it's not like he actually splurges the money from his three jobs anyway.... ]
[BEAMING PROUDLY isn't he so fashionable?? Look at him shopping at this delightfully high-end store! It would have been just a dream back in the gumi days, okay...
That said, Hijikata won't have to worry about burning too much of a hole in his wallet.]
I get discounts pretty much everywhere down here 'cause of partnerships with the boutique I work at.
[He's getting surprisingly good at the whole business savvy scene...]
[ TRULY... of course, Hijikata has seen such high end stores when he's outside but he's never bothered with them much. a part of him is actually curious what one might look like on the inside! ]
Oh, yeah... I forgot you actually worked.
[ Kahsuu seriously doesn't look like the type to, honestly. ] Well, lead the way then.
[ Hijikata would but shopping isn't his strong point! so he'll let Kashuu have this for once. ]
[What the heck, he does good work! He works a lot!! Two jobs, even! It's just when it comes down to maintaining gardens or horses, he's mysteriously Gone...]
Geez... [BUT, leading the way! Time to get all fancy. The inside of the store is about what could be expected from any luxury department store, and it's pretty full of people?! Apparently this population has some money to spare.
Kashuu also seems like he knows this place pretty well, since he's immediately bounding over to a rack of scarves...]
Ooh, these are new!
look at all these TB scarves lets buy one for the soojs
[SHOOTING HIM A LOOK but whatever, he'll just deal with this punkass grandpa's punkass punkassery...
More importantly, these scarves! So much better than trying to figure out if Hijikata's just exercising his teasing skills or if he actually thinks Kashuu is That Lazy.]
It's fine, it's fine! Scarves never go outta style. I get cold easy, anyway. [And the colony is climate controlled so IT'S FINE HE WON'T OVERHEAT AND DIE. Probably.]
[ let him be a punkass for at least 0.2 seconds because Kashuu is a punkass to Hijikata like every moment he breathes? ]
If that's the case... [ maybe it's a sword spirit thing... also Kashuu is Weird.
Hijikata shrugs. ]
I guess, I wear them when it snows, you know? It can get pretty cold during the winter. [ why is Hijikata function > fashion sometimes... he's probably missing the point. ]
[Stop look he's gotta, it's an actual physical need, totally on par with needing to eat and breathe.]
Geez, you old man. They're for looks, not warmth! ...Some, anyway. I mean- [He plucks up one of the thinnest-looking scarfs on the rack, holding it out for Hijikata to feel.] -d'you think this is gonna keep anyone from freezing to death? Nope! But it'll look way cute in summer.
[AND NOW HE'S DIGGING AROUND looking for different colors...!]
What's your favorite color, anyway? I think you'd probably look good in dark blues or purples. Maaaybe you could pull off greens, too... Maybe.
[ he's giving you THE LOOK KASHUU!!! stop he's still young-ish... do your early 30s count as young? maybe during the samurai days because everyone's dying too easily??? the mystery...
but he does give a scarf an experimental touch... that is pretty thin! looks like fashion is more complicated than he thought. ]
I like red. I wore purple sometimes though. [ BUT HE WEARS BLACK AND GREY LIKE 90% OF THE TIME... Kashuu has probably noticed this? ]
[Well, he finally said it. Now when will he call Hijikata Hijiji and fulfill the prophecy??
Kashuu has 100% noticed how DRAB Hijikata's wardrobe is, though. That's why he suggested all colors instead of being like, here's a grey one, grey like your usual outfits, now you can blend into the grey downtown areas of a big city.]
Try some! Here, here-- [PICKING OUT SCARVES. There's a dark red, a darker purple, a couple of different blues, and of course a few greens - all more on the blue side of the spectrum than the yellow.]
AAA KASHUU YOU SOILED IT [spongebob voice] soiled it soiled it soiled it
[ WHEN WILL HIJIJI BECOME REALITY... but no, Kashuu just gets YET ANOTHER GLARE because how dare he!!! call Hijikata old still!!!
it's been awhile since Hijikata worn colourful clothes though... he did it a lot when he was younger! he tries not to look too flashy now, you know? he has BUSINESS to take care of and people who are about BUSINESS are usually not flashy.
but... Kashuu took him out and is helping him not burn a hole in his wallet so maybe he'll take him up on this. only this one time! ]
Okay, okay that's enough. [ YOU'RE PICKING OUT TOO MANY COLOURS KASHUU. he'll pick the red scarf though. gotta go with the red. always.
then he shoves the rest of the scarves back to Kashuu. well... Hijikata's wearing black right now and red goes good with black, right? this should be fine. ]
Let's see... Not a specific way to put this on, is there? [ because he's already putting it around his neck the Usual Scarf Way. ]
[HIJIJI WILL BECOME A REALITY IN DUE TIME... Kashuu ignores the glare for now, and he doesn't put the other scarves back yet either. Everything goes well with black, punk!! Even if he's also pretty biased toward red.]
At least try on one or two more, okay? It's not like it takes a lot of effort to put on a scarf.
[Anyway, shaking his head! As long as Hijikata puts it on with the ends in front and not in the back like certain morons.]
Nope! There are a ton of different ways you can tie a scarf, but that way's pretty universal, I think. Go look in a mirror!
But he'll go look in the mirror! also, no he would never put the scarf on like a moron... but mirror time! ]
Hmm... [ he does take several moments to get a VERY GOOD look at his own reflection... he hasn't worn a scarf purely for fashion before. kind of weird, but... ]
[ HE KNOWS... but okay, time to switch out scarves! he'll give the red one back to Kashuu and take the new one.
Kashuu is so excited about this... he's so weird??? ]
This one isn't so bad either, these are just difficult to put on. [ BUT... that's just because Hijikata has too much hair. the struggle is real! but without further-ado... he puts the scarf on. ]
I was summoned with this one, so of course I'm gonna wear 'em a lot.
[It's cozy and familiar, okay!! And still very stylish, which is obviously always the most important part.]
They're not that hard to put on. [Clearly he just needs to cut some of that spare hair off.......
Or not, just put it on the boring old normal way!! Kashuu watches carefully as he tries on another color, giving it a scrutinizing look before apparently deciding it is Passable and nodding.]
I think the first one has a better color for you, but this one's not bad.
[ ugh no the hair the charm point!? he can't say good-bye to it... although, he probably hasn't cut his hair in like ten years let's be real.
but true, it is pretty stylish... hm... he doesn't know if this truly fits Hijikata though. well, he's going to take off the scarf and hand it back to Kashuu. ]
Well, I always liked red, so I'd probably lean towards that to.
[ a pause. ]
Anything else? [ please, there must be more than just scarves. ]
He'll take the scarf once it's handed back though, carefully folding it up. There's a second where he's SERIOUSLY TEMPTED to just hand over some more scarves just to be sure they picked a good color but - no. No, he'll resist.]
Mmm, what about jackets? Or like, sweaters or cardigans? D'you have anything like that?
please no more scarves... although buying the red one is pretty tempting! unless Kashuu plans on just buying them no matter what Hijikata says and surprise! you got more clothes in your wardrobe! ]
[ WAS IT... but he shakes his head, as he will try to DEFEND HIS (NOT SO) FASHIONABLE HONOR... ] I was just fine with the clothes I had anyway... I also never tried anything with buttons, I just never thought about it.
[ maybe he did, but he didn't put on the priority list?
ugh. Hijikata, a man that needs to get with the times just like he did post-Toba... ]
Really? We're going to get all of that? [ this is going to be a long shopping trip then... ]
[Four months of wandering around in this... Four whole months. Kashuu would almost feel pity if Hijikata didn't just totally bring this down upon himself like a fashionless nerd.]
You really need some variety.
[AND ALSO BUTTONS.]
We're getting all of that and probably more! If you don't have any of these things, you need at least one of each so you can start changing up your wardrobe. We can check out the shirts and pants, too.
smh u cant hide these injustices forever
When will Hijikata boost his ego though okay, ugh, he's waiting.]
It totally is, though! I mean, if we're gonna be associated with each other even a little, you gotta look your very best. [Not that he's still in the Shinsengumi or anything!! He's not part of you ragtag hooligans anymore...!
But what the heck--]
You're weird! [A snappy retort, good work Kashuu.] Duh, why would I do things like this if I didn't think they were fun?
YES I CAN WATCH ME
And that's why?
[ WHAT A WEIRD REASON? why is Kashuu so tsun about being associated with the Shinsengumi? the tsun is strong within this one. ]
You're the one that finds shopping fun. [ HOW IS IT FUN... you just go in? pick up stuff? pay for it? use it? it's not... that fun??!! ]
Well, whatever. Where are we going first?
YOU JUST OUTED YOURSELF, VILLAIN
Yes. [Obviously! Let him have his tsun, okay.
ANYWAY he's just pausing once they get to the Shopping District Proper, glancing around at all of the stores that he likes... on this street. Look, he does a lot of shopping and he has a lot of favorites.]
Mmm... Ooh! There, let's go there first! [Gesturing toward a shop with VERY LARGE WINDOWS... And fancy lighting inside that can be seen from the street... Clearly this place is gonna cost the bux.]
AAAAAAAAAAA JSUT *pushes u in the mud* shut up
he looks... semi-concerned. ]
You... Go here?
[ it looks too fancy and Hijikata is now wondering how much this will burn through his wallet. thankfully, it's not like he actually splurges the money from his three jobs anyway.... ]
WHAT THE FUCK GUHGh a demon!!!!!!
[BEAMING PROUDLY isn't he so fashionable?? Look at him shopping at this delightfully high-end store! It would have been just a dream back in the gumi days, okay...
That said, Hijikata won't have to worry about burning too much of a hole in his wallet.]
I get discounts pretty much everywhere down here 'cause of partnerships with the boutique I work at.
[He's getting surprisingly good at the whole business savvy scene...]
"a demon" u say to the demon VC
Oh, yeah... I forgot you actually worked.
[ Kahsuu seriously doesn't look like the type to, honestly. ] Well, lead the way then.
[ Hijikata would but shopping isn't his strong point! so he'll let Kashuu have this for once. ]
buries him in the demon graveyard
[What the heck, he does good work! He works a lot!! Two jobs, even! It's just when it comes down to maintaining gardens or horses, he's mysteriously Gone...]
Geez... [BUT, leading the way! Time to get all fancy. The inside of the store is about what could be expected from any luxury department store, and it's pretty full of people?! Apparently this population has some money to spare.
Kashuu also seems like he knows this place pretty well, since he's immediately bounding over to a rack of scarves...]
Ooh, these are new!
look at all these TB scarves lets buy one for the soojs
[ LOOK HIJIKATA IS JUST CONVINCED KASHUU IS A LAZY OKITAGUMI... or is he? maybe he just wanted to tease Kashuu... the mystery!
this store really does put the luxury in luxury department store! Hijikata even feels underdressed for once.
but Hijikata can only stare until Kashuu speaks up again as he bounces over to the scarves! ]
Should you really be wearing scarves in the summer?
MATCHING GUMI SCARVES
More importantly, these scarves! So much better than trying to figure out if Hijikata's just exercising his teasing skills or if he actually thinks Kashuu is That Lazy.]
It's fine, it's fine! Scarves never go outta style. I get cold easy, anyway. [And the colony is climate controlled so IT'S FINE HE WON'T OVERHEAT AND DIE. Probably.]
D'you like scarves?
UGH... it's time.. fashion matching
If that's the case... [ maybe it's a sword spirit thing... also Kashuu is Weird.
Hijikata shrugs. ]
I guess, I wear them when it snows, you know? It can get pretty cold during the winter. [ why is Hijikata function > fashion sometimes... he's probably missing the point. ]
ugh look its the same as wearing matching haoris
Geez, you old man. They're for looks, not warmth! ...Some, anyway. I mean- [He plucks up one of the thinnest-looking scarfs on the rack, holding it out for Hijikata to feel.] -d'you think this is gonna keep anyone from freezing to death? Nope! But it'll look way cute in summer.
[AND NOW HE'S DIGGING AROUND looking for different colors...!]
What's your favorite color, anyway? I think you'd probably look good in dark blues or purples. Maaaybe you could pull off greens, too... Maybe.
uhm wheres your haori kashuu :/
[ he's giving you THE LOOK KASHUU!!! stop he's still young-ish... do your early 30s count as young? maybe during the samurai days because everyone's dying too easily??? the mystery...
but he does give a scarf an experimental touch... that is pretty thin! looks like fashion is more complicated than he thought. ]
I like red. I wore purple sometimes though. [ BUT HE WEARS BLACK AND GREY LIKE 90% OF THE TIME... Kashuu has probably noticed this? ]
Never thought about green though.
buried tbh
[Well, he finally said it. Now when will he call Hijikata Hijiji and fulfill the prophecy??
Kashuu has 100% noticed how DRAB Hijikata's wardrobe is, though. That's why he suggested all colors instead of being like, here's a grey one, grey like your usual outfits, now you can blend into the grey downtown areas of a big city.]
Try some! Here, here-- [PICKING OUT SCARVES. There's a dark red, a darker purple, a couple of different blues, and of course a few greens - all more on the blue side of the spectrum than the yellow.]
AAA KASHUU YOU SOILED IT [spongebob voice] soiled it soiled it soiled it
it's been awhile since Hijikata worn colourful clothes though... he did it a lot when he was younger! he tries not to look too flashy now, you know? he has BUSINESS to take care of and people who are about BUSINESS are usually not flashy.
but... Kashuu took him out and is helping him not burn a hole in his wallet so maybe he'll take him up on this. only this one time! ]
Okay, okay that's enough. [ YOU'RE PICKING OUT TOO MANY COLOURS KASHUU. he'll pick the red scarf though. gotta go with the red. always.
then he shoves the rest of the scarves back to Kashuu. well... Hijikata's wearing black right now and red goes good with black, right? this should be fine. ]
Let's see... Not a specific way to put this on, is there? [ because he's already putting it around his neck the Usual Scarf Way. ]
STOP WHEN WILL YOU GO BACK TO YOUR HOME in hell
At least try on one or two more, okay? It's not like it takes a lot of effort to put on a scarf.
[Anyway, shaking his head! As long as Hijikata puts it on with the ends in front and not in the back like certain morons.]
Nope! There are a ton of different ways you can tie a scarf, but that way's pretty universal, I think. Go look in a mirror!
:knife emoji:
[ HAND WAVE... WHY IS KASHUU SO PERSISTENT...
But he'll go look in the mirror! also, no he would never put the scarf on like a moron... but mirror time! ]
Hmm... [ he does take several moments to get a VERY GOOD look at his own reflection... he hasn't worn a scarf purely for fashion before. kind of weird, but... ]
It's actually not too bad, I think.
[ ??? ]
Why
But Kashuu will trot up behind him (now he has another scarf, too?!) and peer into the mirror.]
Not bad at all! Scarves are good accessories.
[Not that he's got a bias or anything...]
Here, here! Try another color!
had it not been for the laws of this land... i would have slaughtered you
[ HE KNOWS... but okay, time to switch out scarves! he'll give the red one back to Kashuu and take the new one.
Kashuu is so excited about this... he's so weird??? ]
This one isn't so bad either, these are just difficult to put on. [ BUT... that's just because Hijikata has too much hair. the struggle is real! but without further-ado... he puts the scarf on. ]
Well, how about it?
ur the one who made the rules grandpa
[It's cozy and familiar, okay!! And still very stylish, which is obviously always the most important part.]
They're not that hard to put on. [Clearly he just needs to cut some of that spare hair off.......
Or not, just put it on the boring old normal way!! Kashuu watches carefully as he tries on another color, giving it a scrutinizing look before apparently deciding it is Passable and nodding.]
I think the first one has a better color for you, but this one's not bad.
okay you got me there but ... listen
but true, it is pretty stylish... hm... he doesn't know if this truly fits Hijikata though. well, he's going to take off the scarf and hand it back to Kashuu. ]
Well, I always liked red, so I'd probably lean towards that to.
[ a pause. ]
Anything else? [ please, there must be more than just scarves. ]
JUST REWRITE THE RULES
He'll take the scarf once it's handed back though, carefully folding it up. There's a second where he's SERIOUSLY TEMPTED to just hand over some more scarves just to be sure they picked a good color but - no. No, he'll resist.]
Mmm, what about jackets? Or like, sweaters or cardigans? D'you have anything like that?
[Giving Hijikata a SCRUTINIZING LOOK.]
WHY???
please no more scarves... although buying the red one is pretty tempting! unless Kashuu plans on just buying them no matter what Hijikata says and surprise! you got more clothes in your wardrobe! ]
What- don't give me that look!
[ AAA KASHUU STOP... he just crosses his arms. ]
. . . I don't have anything like that though.
SO THEN U CAN STABBA, DUH
He's also NOT STOPPING OKAY JUST GONNA KEEP ON KEEPING ON WITH HIS VAGUELY JUDGMENTAL LOOK.]
You've been here how long by now, and you still don't have any of those things?
[DISBELIEVING.]
We're definitely gonna need to fix that like, right away.
YOU GOTTA LEARN TO STABBA RESPONSIBLY AND ACCORDING TO THE REGULATIONS...........
[ WAS IT... but he shakes his head, as he will try to DEFEND HIS (NOT SO) FASHIONABLE HONOR... ] I was just fine with the clothes I had anyway... I also never tried anything with buttons, I just never thought about it.
[ maybe he did, but he didn't put on the priority list?
ugh. Hijikata, a man that needs to get with the times just like he did post-Toba... ]
Really? We're going to get all of that? [ this is going to be a long shopping trip then... ]
WHERES THE FUN IN THAT
You really need some variety.
[AND ALSO BUTTONS.]
We're getting all of that and probably more! If you don't have any of these things, you need at least one of each so you can start changing up your wardrobe. We can check out the shirts and pants, too.
[TIME FOR WESTERN PANTS, GRANDPA.]
PLEASE STAB RESPONSIBLY?
says the candlewax commander
HIJIKATA CANDLEWAXES RESPONSIBLY?
i........ r u sure..
YES??? do you doubt me.. hand over heart :(
OF COURSE
i totally made sho pick out what hijikata should wear first so here we are
why did sho do this to us
AAAAAAA I LAUGHED SO HARD KASHUU UR TIRED
HE NEEDS A LONGASS NAP
AAA IM THE ONE THAT DESERVES A NAP
GO TAKE A NAP THEN U ELDERLY PERSON
I'mma make sure kashuu takes an eternal nap
wtf HE'S TRYING TO HELP
STOP!!!! OKITAGUMIS ARE LIL DEMONS AND GOTTA GO
STOP WHY DONT BE MEAN TO THE PURE BEANS
dam u ... makin those funny jokes again i see!!
UGH LOOK U slamdunks into the trash
slam dunks u back to ikedaya
this is why u get hakodated
YA GONNA GET IKEDAYA'D
WHY IS HIJIKATA EXHAUSTING